One day til JAILBREAK.

As most of you probably don't know, I have been holed up in this house for seven days. (Tomorrow will make eight.) Add on to that the three days that I was in the hospital. That makes eleven days total, where I've been unallowed to breathe fresh air, unallowed to function independantly, basically unallowed to live. It has sucked MASSIVELY. This, of course, is not by my own choosing. It was a condition of my discharge from the hospital, that I refrain from leaving the house. Of course, after being in the hospital for three days, I'd have agreed to anything. Now I'm realizing what I signed up for. Holy monkey balls. This is really awful.

This past month has to be some sick form of karmic debt. I'm convinced. Heartbreak, a bought of Seasonal Affective Disorder, and this broken ankle. I'll allow that most of it is my own fault, with the exception of the S.A.D. but either way you look at it, the shit needs to stop. I'm going to MAKE it stop. I'm going to be an active participant in my own life. Fate is bullshit, and letting the chips fall where they may has gotten me nowhere. So here is where I take a stand, grab life by the balls, and make it my bitch. Without realizing it, I've let myself become what I hate: that person who just sits by and lets life shit all over them. Well, I'm not doing it anymore. Change is in the horizon.

And by 'in the horizon', I mean so close that I can taste it.

So, with that, I bid you adieu. Hopefully, next time I write here, I'll be a little closer to that happiness I so rabidly crave.

~ELL VEE!

Just when you think things can't get any worse...

They do.
Oh... They do.

Soo... I broke my leg. Well, not leg. Ankle. I broke my ankle. In my dance class. At nassau. Yes, the required phys. ed credit that I was only taking because it's REQUIRED of me to graduate. THAT is where I broke my ankle. In dance class at Nassau. Sorry for the repetition, but I need to make sure you understand just how fucking STUPID this all is. This could have been avoided if I wasn't REQUIRED to take a gym credit for graduation. I wouldnt be holed up in my room for the past week, if Nassau Community College wasn't the only college that FORCES you to take a fucking physical education credit. So right now, I'm hating on Nassau. Hating on NCC, hard.

I could go into why shit sucks so much, but honestly, I don't have the energy.
I just hate this SO much.

OH SHIT SON

Dear Life,

Fuck you. Hard.

I'm lonely and now I'm dying a slow, sore-throated death. Alone. What is the point of this? Are you trying to teach me some kind of lesson? Either way, you're a bitch and I'm gonna die like this.

Thanks for nothing.
Lauren






PS: I really hope I don't die.

HOLY FUCK MAKE IT STOP

Dear Daylight Savings,

The shit has hit the fan, so I'm not sugarcoating anything here. I'm just gonna tell you flat out to BACK THE FUCK UP. And here's why.

This morning, I woke up and looked out my window, it was pitch black outside. 'Awesome!' I think to myself, and snuggle back into my pillows for some more sleep. Just then, the tell tale BEEP BEEP BEEP! of my alarm clock goes off, and my delusion of more sleep is ruined.

Stop teasing me with this idea of more sleep, unless you plan to deliver. If you don't, I'll be forced to find my way into the time/space continuum and kick your fucking ass.

Stop dicking around.
Thank you.

Sincerely,
Lauren

zeeb.

i got the baking supplies and the baking partner, and in an interesting twist of fate... the pet zebra. now, just gotta find a place to put the zeeeb.

...just kidding.

in other news, i'm still chewing this disgusting gum Mother gave me, and i've discovered that maybe it's the sad things that i've been thinking about that are causing me to be nauseous.

i'm on to something.
and another piece of gum.

apparently i like torturing my senses.
one day, they shall all leave me.
and i'll be senseless.

not much different than i am today, huh?


off to feed the zeeeeb.
~L!

want. want. want. want. want. want. want. want. want. want. want.

i want Ramune. you know, that stupid japanese Sprite wanna be. RAMUUUNE, come to meee!

i also want my room to become autonomous and self-cleaning. THAT would be something special.

i also would like a(n):
-rocketship
-new face. (imeanrly.)
-bodytoo?
-seasons 2,4 & 5 of Grey's Anatomy on DVD.
-season 2 of gossip girl
-baking supplies to miraculously and suspiciously arrive at my door.
-baking partner; to make sure i don't blow my house up or kill anyone.
-copious supply of monies.
-the 2010 Shelby Mustang 500 GT.
-personal movie theater, like the ones they have on cribs.
-swimming pool.
-pocket pikachu.
-pet zebra.
-private helicopter.
-mansion (to store all this crap).
-Ethan.


as the list went on it got more and more ridiculous.
i'm a crazy person, i know.

this gum mom gave me is making me nauseous. layered gum? pineapple and green apple? my two favorite fruit flavors are betraying me as we speak. i wanna puke.

au revoir.
~Laur