So, it's finally Christmas Eve. I've retired to my room, to hide from the Christmas music that I've been tortured with for the past month, and because that stupid Mariah Carey song (ok I won't lie, I love her.) came on. You know the one, where she's all like "All I want for Christmas is YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU" in that really high pitched voice that she always does? The one that all the lonely girls (I've done it before too, shutup) put in their AIM profiles during Christmas time? Yeah, that one. Well it just occured to me... that very song could be directly applied to my life. Which is odd. But the cool thing is that I'm actually getting my wish. He'll be here on Saturday. And I'm still freaking out. Wow.
Last night was Sam's Christmas party. Quite a bit of fun. Lots of stupid pictures were taken. Lots of rude jokes were made... mostly by me. I actually had a great time. Sam made an awesome dinner, and was neurotic about her table settings, and I was rude back to her, and told her that her kids would be annorexics as teens because they had such a compulsive, controll freak mother. Haha. It's all good, she knows I'm kidding. I felt so at ease last night just hanging out with those idiots and leading the retard exhibition. I felt bad for Marge who was upstairs and probably had her head in a pillow, screaming for us to shut the fuck up. Haha. Oh wells.
It doesn't even feel like Christmas Time. It's rainy and ugly outside. Boo. It's the 24th though, and tonight is the Patino family Christmas Extravaganza that always ends with a story or 15. (Maybe this year we'll succeed at getting Aunt Nan drunk again!) I'm just really excited to watch A Christmas Story. Then when we come home, I'm pretty sure Mom and I are gonna set up my Wii, FINALLY -- and stay up for hours upon hours playing that. =) I'm excited.
Anyway. I'll take pictures of the event. Later skater.
----------------
Now playing: Pussycat Dolls - I Hate This Part
via FoxyTunes
12/22/08
Gentlewoman Corpse.
I'm taking my last final tomorrow, and then I'll be done with this cunt of a semester. Hopefully I didn't fuck it up so badly. I guess I'll post my grades tomorrow, when I find out the good/bad news. -le sigh- Of course when I got home today, the bill for Spring 09 was on the kitchen table. Which of course, sent me into a bitch fit. Fuck, I really hate money. And college. But mostly the money, because college is actually kind of fun. Except for certain fuck-bag professors making certain fuck-bag classes suck a big bag-o-fuck. (Heh, go me.)
Cory will be here very soon. Within days. Which is so super-duper exciting. And scary at the same time. He's gonna be here, and be like, "Dude, what the fuck is wrong with you." And run screaming in the other direction. That, or he'll be so very content and zen about being here. Oh Kurt, I hope it's the second option. I want him to want to be here. If that makes any sense.
I've been drawing octopus tentacles all day. The silly Wormwood comic book gave me the idea. I want to be a gentleman corpse. Or rather, a gentlewoman corpse. That would be interesting. Except for the whole worm thing coming out of my eye and speaking for me.
I want to be an octopus for a day.
With zebra stripes and a mohawk.
God damn it, I'm weird.
----------------
Now playing: Ludo - Love Me Dead
via FoxyTunes
Cory will be here very soon. Within days. Which is so super-duper exciting. And scary at the same time. He's gonna be here, and be like, "Dude, what the fuck is wrong with you." And run screaming in the other direction. That, or he'll be so very content and zen about being here. Oh Kurt, I hope it's the second option. I want him to want to be here. If that makes any sense.
I've been drawing octopus tentacles all day. The silly Wormwood comic book gave me the idea. I want to be a gentleman corpse. Or rather, a gentlewoman corpse. That would be interesting. Except for the whole worm thing coming out of my eye and speaking for me.
I want to be an octopus for a day.
With zebra stripes and a mohawk.
God damn it, I'm weird.
----------------
Now playing: Ludo - Love Me Dead
via FoxyTunes
12/21/08
12/10/08
Well now... That was thoroughly embarassing.
I just looked at all 5 million of my old blogs. Oii. How embarassing. Seriously, the shit I found to complain about was ridiculous. I was extremely over-dramatic about the Gordon Duck love-story thing, and I went off on the most pointless tangents. AND!!!! I swear to Kurt, if I could go back in time and slap the shit out of my 13 year old self for using the word "sexxie" (spelled just like that) -- Oh, I totally would.
I made a FaceInHole album today. There's some seriously funny shit going on there.
I'm sort of sick again. I have this annoying cough-thing going on. What did I get? Like two days of health? -le sigh-
I should be in bed. I'm yawning every 2 seconds, and I have to be up at 5 am tomorrow morning for the usual school bullshit. Grawr. No matter how good it looks on paper; 7 am classes are just a baaaaad idea. I'm not even sure how I'm making it through this semester... Hopefully my grades aren't too shitty. -shrug-
I need hugs.
Everything makes me tired.
I want a graham cracker. :O
Cory makes me smile an awful lot.
Do I make you tired?
----------------
Now playing: Nirvana - Breed
via FoxyTunes
I made a FaceInHole album today. There's some seriously funny shit going on there.
I'm sort of sick again. I have this annoying cough-thing going on. What did I get? Like two days of health? -le sigh-
I should be in bed. I'm yawning every 2 seconds, and I have to be up at 5 am tomorrow morning for the usual school bullshit. Grawr. No matter how good it looks on paper; 7 am classes are just a baaaaad idea. I'm not even sure how I'm making it through this semester... Hopefully my grades aren't too shitty. -shrug-
I need hugs.
Everything makes me tired.
I want a graham cracker. :O
Cory makes me smile an awful lot.
Do I make you tired?
----------------
Now playing: Nirvana - Breed
via FoxyTunes
12/7/08
Hey, hey, guess what!
Cory gets here on the 27th.
(Major celebration, mixed in with major anxiety.)
I'm thoroughly excited though.
--
Seriously, who would have thought after all this... that we'd be where we are now? I definitely didn't see it. Just, wow. That's all I really have to say. And this is extremely over-due, but I owe Katie major thanks because if it weren't for her showing me something online 2 years ago... None of this would have happened.
--
Went shopping with Mom today. She bought me the Wii for Christmas. Major yay. I didn't really expect anything huge from her, because for the past couple of years money has been tight around the house, especially during the holidays. And I only really asked for the Wii as a joke the other night, even though I knew having one would be tremendously awesome... but I guess she felt like being really really really nice. I'm not even gonna go into how much money she ended up spending. After that, we went to Wal-Marx and it was hellish. So. Many. People. Ugh. -headdesk- Everyone moving at the pace of snails, with no sense to the movement pattern. Basically, just a humongous cluster-fuck of retard shoppers and screaming babies. -headdeskheaddeskheaddesk- But! I did happen to get a pretty sweet knit-hat, which was pretty exciting. I mean it's nothing especially thrilling, but I've wanted one for a while. So that was nice.
Anyway... It's damn near 4 in the moring, and I should be asleep right now. Mom and I, along with Sam and NitNit are going to the Shamrock Christmas Tree farm in fucking Mattituck. -sigh- I have to be up by at least 9, so I can be ready for this extravaganza. Which should be somewhat fun... but still. Fuck that's early to be awake and attempting social interaction. (This coming from the one who wakes up at 5 on weekdays... heh) Anyway. I'll take pictures tomorrow and maybe post some when I write tomorrow.
Oh! And it snowed tonight. It was only supposed to be a half-inch... but you know how amazing the weather men are... Haha. It looks pretty. I'll take some pictures of the first real snow-fall too, tomorrow morning as we embark on our two-hour long journey to the tree-farm.
The Super Saiyan Zebra is pleased with her life at the moment.
-deafening applause-
Time to go catch some y's. :)
(Major celebration, mixed in with major anxiety.)
I'm thoroughly excited though.
--
Seriously, who would have thought after all this... that we'd be where we are now? I definitely didn't see it. Just, wow. That's all I really have to say. And this is extremely over-due, but I owe Katie major thanks because if it weren't for her showing me something online 2 years ago... None of this would have happened.
--
Went shopping with Mom today. She bought me the Wii for Christmas. Major yay. I didn't really expect anything huge from her, because for the past couple of years money has been tight around the house, especially during the holidays. And I only really asked for the Wii as a joke the other night, even though I knew having one would be tremendously awesome... but I guess she felt like being really really really nice. I'm not even gonna go into how much money she ended up spending. After that, we went to Wal-Marx and it was hellish. So. Many. People. Ugh. -headdesk- Everyone moving at the pace of snails, with no sense to the movement pattern. Basically, just a humongous cluster-fuck of retard shoppers and screaming babies. -headdeskheaddeskheaddesk- But! I did happen to get a pretty sweet knit-hat, which was pretty exciting. I mean it's nothing especially thrilling, but I've wanted one for a while. So that was nice.
Anyway... It's damn near 4 in the moring, and I should be asleep right now. Mom and I, along with Sam and NitNit are going to the Shamrock Christmas Tree farm in fucking Mattituck. -sigh- I have to be up by at least 9, so I can be ready for this extravaganza. Which should be somewhat fun... but still. Fuck that's early to be awake and attempting social interaction. (This coming from the one who wakes up at 5 on weekdays... heh) Anyway. I'll take pictures tomorrow and maybe post some when I write tomorrow.
Oh! And it snowed tonight. It was only supposed to be a half-inch... but you know how amazing the weather men are... Haha. It looks pretty. I'll take some pictures of the first real snow-fall too, tomorrow morning as we embark on our two-hour long journey to the tree-farm.
The Super Saiyan Zebra is pleased with her life at the moment.
-deafening applause-
Time to go catch some y's. :)
12/3/08
12/2/08
IMACORNBALL.
This is life, right? Things go well. Things go horribly. You feel good, eventually... you feel shitty again. But oh! Eventually, you feel good again. What I'm saying is that what goes up must come down; for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction; and that when life gives you lemons... make some lemonchello and get drunk off your ass to ignore the pain. ...I'm kidding. The adage says to make some lemonade and get over it. You'll be fine. And I know, I'm really preaching to the choir with this one, but for as bad as I think I've got it sometimes... Well, fuck... I've got it pretty damn good.
Lately, I've been pretty down on myself. For whatever reason, I felt inadequate. I wasn't good enough, and I wasn't worth peoples time. I felt like I didn't deserve praise and like trying harder for it was an uphill battle because there would always be someone better than me at whatever it was I was trying to do. School felt tedious because I felt stupid and like it was a waste of my time to be there. I never really told anyone about anything because then I'd really be pathetic. Just bitching about my lame life made me lower than I already was. Why even bother?
So, as I hope you know, when your body is under a significant amount of stress... your body becomes taxed as well. Your immune system lets up it's guard. You're susceptible to getting sick... and I did. Oh, did I get sick. I mean, it wasn't anything life threatening, and it definitely wasn't the worst cold I've ever had... But the sickness and the stress just piled up on me and I did the only thing I could do. Sleep. I slept quite a bit. But as sick as I was feeling, I started to feel a little better because of the love I was getting from some pretty special people in my life. I seriously believe that if it weren't for Cory and Sam, I would probably STILL be sick.
The whole time I was sick, Sam would check up on me. See how I was feeling, see if I wanted to do anything, invited me and Nit to have dinner with her and Nort, dealt with me being a moody sick person. And as much as I want to beat the living shit out of her sometimes... I wouldn't be able to do half the shit I do without her. I've been through basically everything with this bitch, and I'm damn sure we'll always be up each other's asses. Couldn't ask for a better cousin. So yeah, if you end up reading this -- GOOSE LOVES YOU, FEETA!
And Cory. Well. I could go on and on about how amazing he is, and how much I love him for being him, and blah blah blah... but I'm just a zebra... And honestly, however long this blog lasts -- there will probably be about 600 more entries about just that. Because he is just that amazing, and --oh, damn. There I go again. Oops! :) Thing is, he deserves it, and doesn't realize that he does. Which is kind of a bummer, but I'm working on it! ANEHWAY, he deals with some crazy shit from me. (Including me being doped up on nyquil and alleging that I was a zebra for an entire hour before I passed out.) He's amazing, and I love him. Very much.
But yeah. The whole point of this long winded "rant" on absolutely nothing, is that why be down, when you have some amazing people around you? And the amazing-ness doesn't stop with Sam and Cory. I have got some other AMAZING friends. People that will support me, and make me feel good about myself no matter what. Sometimes, I lose sight of that... But they're always there for me -- when things are amazing, and especially when they're shitty. I mean... this is life, right? Yeah, and I've got it pretty damn good.
Okay, that was really gay. I've been reading too many Jodi Picoult books. :/
IN OTHER NEWS:
Cory's coming to stay with us after Christmas. I'm excited and terrified, because this means he's gonna have to meet at least SOME of my family. Fuuuck. Oh well. The excitement is overruling the terror, at least for now. Haha.
Kay, I'm done.
Lately, I've been pretty down on myself. For whatever reason, I felt inadequate. I wasn't good enough, and I wasn't worth peoples time. I felt like I didn't deserve praise and like trying harder for it was an uphill battle because there would always be someone better than me at whatever it was I was trying to do. School felt tedious because I felt stupid and like it was a waste of my time to be there. I never really told anyone about anything because then I'd really be pathetic. Just bitching about my lame life made me lower than I already was. Why even bother?
So, as I hope you know, when your body is under a significant amount of stress... your body becomes taxed as well. Your immune system lets up it's guard. You're susceptible to getting sick... and I did. Oh, did I get sick. I mean, it wasn't anything life threatening, and it definitely wasn't the worst cold I've ever had... But the sickness and the stress just piled up on me and I did the only thing I could do. Sleep. I slept quite a bit. But as sick as I was feeling, I started to feel a little better because of the love I was getting from some pretty special people in my life. I seriously believe that if it weren't for Cory and Sam, I would probably STILL be sick.
The whole time I was sick, Sam would check up on me. See how I was feeling, see if I wanted to do anything, invited me and Nit to have dinner with her and Nort, dealt with me being a moody sick person. And as much as I want to beat the living shit out of her sometimes... I wouldn't be able to do half the shit I do without her. I've been through basically everything with this bitch, and I'm damn sure we'll always be up each other's asses. Couldn't ask for a better cousin. So yeah, if you end up reading this -- GOOSE LOVES YOU, FEETA!
And Cory. Well. I could go on and on about how amazing he is, and how much I love him for being him, and blah blah blah... but I'm just a zebra... And honestly, however long this blog lasts -- there will probably be about 600 more entries about just that. Because he is just that amazing, and --oh, damn. There I go again. Oops! :) Thing is, he deserves it, and doesn't realize that he does. Which is kind of a bummer, but I'm working on it! ANEHWAY, he deals with some crazy shit from me. (Including me being doped up on nyquil and alleging that I was a zebra for an entire hour before I passed out.) He's amazing, and I love him. Very much.
But yeah. The whole point of this long winded "rant" on absolutely nothing, is that why be down, when you have some amazing people around you? And the amazing-ness doesn't stop with Sam and Cory. I have got some other AMAZING friends. People that will support me, and make me feel good about myself no matter what. Sometimes, I lose sight of that... But they're always there for me -- when things are amazing, and especially when they're shitty. I mean... this is life, right? Yeah, and I've got it pretty damn good.
Okay, that was really gay. I've been reading too many Jodi Picoult books. :/
IN OTHER NEWS:
Cory's coming to stay with us after Christmas. I'm excited and terrified, because this means he's gonna have to meet at least SOME of my family. Fuuuck. Oh well. The excitement is overruling the terror, at least for now. Haha.
Kay, I'm done.
11/17/08
This City Is Contagious.
So much for making it to class this morning. I had the hardest time getting up, and then Kristen texted me and asked if I needed a ride today (which indicated her not wanting to go) and I was just like... FUCK IT. And I put on the Lion King 1 1/2 and fell back asleep. (Apparently this movie turns me into a narcoleptic.) So I'll let you know how badly I did on my math test on Wednesday afternoon.
I learned how to write "I love you" in chinese today.
I have a headache.
I haven't got much to write.
I learned how to write "I love you" in chinese today.
I have a headache.
I haven't got much to write.
11/16/08
All your base are belong to us.
This weekend has been eventful:
+ Friday came, and I wasn't a victim of my own spontaneous combustion. Seriously, if this week had sucked any more, I was getting ready to freak the fuck out.
+ Set up for the Rock Lobster which is always a blast.
++ Found a new "terrible" song to be obsessed with, and had a dance party with Amanda when we were done setting up.
+++ Andrew did the "Bye Bye Bye" dance on stage, and I got it on camera!
-- Couldn't fall asleep until damn near 3 in the morning because I was afraid of having a ridiculous nightmare.
-/+ Slept until noon on Saturday because Mom wasn't home to disturb me.
+ Islanders game Saturday night, with work.
- Got stuck babysitting a bratty kid at the game.
+++ Islanders won 3-2. And there were fights. Oohhh, the fights! :D
--- Lost my voice from screaming loud with JuliAnna and her cousin.
- Stayed up til 2ish, watching the roast of Bob Saget (which was actually pretty funny); because
I was still scared of the nightmare.
+ Woke up at a decent, but not too early hour.
+/- Queens Adventure (Read more below)
- Coming home and talking to Mom about my plans for Missouri, and having her disapprove without hearing me out. (Read more below)
+++ I love my boyfriend very much.
The Queens Adventure (Extended Edition)
So, Sam and I went into Queens today, to do some research for her DNY project. Oh Kurt, it was the most pointless trip I've ever been on -- while being completely hysterical, and worth it at the same time. We got into Queens, and found our way to Yellowstone (?) Road. The first thing we noticed, was our end destination: Cheeburger Cheeburger. Sam mentions that she thinks theres another one closer to the Barnes and Noble I want to go to, so we might as well go to that one instead. I agree, not knowing what I know now... And we continue on our hopeless journey. From that point, we got ourselves all fucked up with the directions (mind you, we have the GPS plugged in and turned on) because we're trying to get onto the opposite side of the Queens Boulevard Service Road, and can't actually turn right, because Queens Boulevard itself, is immeadiately parallel to us. So eventually we find our way to Austin Rd. (which is where this fucking B&N is) and we're going to park and walk... but we still haven't seen the Cheeburger Cheeburger that Sam was talking about. There's a Johnny Rockets and about 600 shitty looking pizza joints, but no Chee to be seen. I'm not going to tell you how long it took us to realize that there wasn't a Chee on Austin. Or how long it took us to realize that Austin was a block parallel to Queens Boulevard Service Road. OR EVEN how long it took us to realize that every time we turned back onto Austin, we were JUST missing the block that the actual Chee was on. -le sigh- So now imagine all of that bullshit, while the traffic is all fucked up (because parking in that shithole place is impossible); and on top of it, you have me yelling out the windows to pedestrians, picking fights with other motorists and doing a pretty bigoted social commentary. On top of that, when we finally got to Chee, it wasn't that great. Well. The onion rings were, but I'm not getting into it. It was a trip to remember. That's all I'm saying.
My Mother is Insane
So I told Jane this evening about my plans to visit Cory in Missouri after Christmas. Obviously, her reaction wasn't what I would have liked it to have been, otherwise this... um... segment? wouldn't exist. Anyway, I tell her I'm thinking of going on a vacation. And she gives me this dirty look, like "bitch, where the FUCK do you think you're going?" So I tell her I'm gonna go hang out with Cory, and she puffs up and then stares at the TV for five minutes, without saying a damn thing on the subject. If theres one thing I can say about my entire family, it's this: We all live under a constant banner of avoidance. All of us. If I hadn't probed her for a reaction, I'd probably STILL be waiting to hear what she had to say. So then after I ask her what she's thinking, she goes off on this whole spiel about me not knowing him "in real life" (this is her terminology, seriously) and that he's gonna be different in person, than he is when we're on the phone or online. And I said, "No. That's not how it's gonna go down Mom." And then she says, "And at any rate, I'd feel more comfortable if he came here first." ...HAHAHAHAHA. Fucking right, Jane. Sure. I'm going to have him come out here, so that you and the rest of my family can scare the piss out of him? Riiight. I held my tongue on the matter, and just kind of gave her this look that said, "I don't care what you think." and she puffed up again and said "Well, I'm not too thrilled about this, but do what you want."
Thank you very much, Mom. I am going to do what I want. Listen, I'm 20 years old. I'm going to do what I want to do, and that which will make me happy. I don't need your permission anymore. And while I could gladly say 'fuck you' and do whatever I please, it would be nice if I had your support in the matter. You always said that after what your mother and my aunt did to you, regarding my father and their dislike for him, you'd never do the same to me. And yeah, this is completely different, I understand. I'm about to hop on a plane to meet someone for the first time, who I'm already madly in love with. It's different than your situation. Definitely. But I would expect you, as my mother, to be supportive of me. And the fact that you aren't, after everything you've been through, and the promises you made me... Well, that's just really disappointing.
Either way, I'm going to Missouri at the end of December. And it will probably be the most amazing time of my life. I could care less what anyone else thinks about it.
+ Friday came, and I wasn't a victim of my own spontaneous combustion. Seriously, if this week had sucked any more, I was getting ready to freak the fuck out.
+ Set up for the Rock Lobster which is always a blast.
++ Found a new "terrible" song to be obsessed with, and had a dance party with Amanda when we were done setting up.
+++ Andrew did the "Bye Bye Bye" dance on stage, and I got it on camera!
-- Couldn't fall asleep until damn near 3 in the morning because I was afraid of having a ridiculous nightmare.
-/+ Slept until noon on Saturday because Mom wasn't home to disturb me.
+ Islanders game Saturday night, with work.
- Got stuck babysitting a bratty kid at the game.
+++ Islanders won 3-2. And there were fights. Oohhh, the fights! :D
--- Lost my voice from screaming loud with JuliAnna and her cousin.
- Stayed up til 2ish, watching the roast of Bob Saget (which was actually pretty funny); because
I was still scared of the nightmare.
+ Woke up at a decent, but not too early hour.
+/- Queens Adventure (Read more below)
- Coming home and talking to Mom about my plans for Missouri, and having her disapprove without hearing me out. (Read more below)
+++ I love my boyfriend very much.
The Queens Adventure (Extended Edition)
So, Sam and I went into Queens today, to do some research for her DNY project. Oh Kurt, it was the most pointless trip I've ever been on -- while being completely hysterical, and worth it at the same time. We got into Queens, and found our way to Yellowstone (?) Road. The first thing we noticed, was our end destination: Cheeburger Cheeburger. Sam mentions that she thinks theres another one closer to the Barnes and Noble I want to go to, so we might as well go to that one instead. I agree, not knowing what I know now... And we continue on our hopeless journey. From that point, we got ourselves all fucked up with the directions (mind you, we have the GPS plugged in and turned on) because we're trying to get onto the opposite side of the Queens Boulevard Service Road, and can't actually turn right, because Queens Boulevard itself, is immeadiately parallel to us. So eventually we find our way to Austin Rd. (which is where this fucking B&N is) and we're going to park and walk... but we still haven't seen the Cheeburger Cheeburger that Sam was talking about. There's a Johnny Rockets and about 600 shitty looking pizza joints, but no Chee to be seen. I'm not going to tell you how long it took us to realize that there wasn't a Chee on Austin. Or how long it took us to realize that Austin was a block parallel to Queens Boulevard Service Road. OR EVEN how long it took us to realize that every time we turned back onto Austin, we were JUST missing the block that the actual Chee was on. -le sigh- So now imagine all of that bullshit, while the traffic is all fucked up (because parking in that shithole place is impossible); and on top of it, you have me yelling out the windows to pedestrians, picking fights with other motorists and doing a pretty bigoted social commentary. On top of that, when we finally got to Chee, it wasn't that great. Well. The onion rings were, but I'm not getting into it. It was a trip to remember. That's all I'm saying.
My Mother is Insane
So I told Jane this evening about my plans to visit Cory in Missouri after Christmas. Obviously, her reaction wasn't what I would have liked it to have been, otherwise this... um... segment? wouldn't exist. Anyway, I tell her I'm thinking of going on a vacation. And she gives me this dirty look, like "bitch, where the FUCK do you think you're going?" So I tell her I'm gonna go hang out with Cory, and she puffs up and then stares at the TV for five minutes, without saying a damn thing on the subject. If theres one thing I can say about my entire family, it's this: We all live under a constant banner of avoidance. All of us. If I hadn't probed her for a reaction, I'd probably STILL be waiting to hear what she had to say. So then after I ask her what she's thinking, she goes off on this whole spiel about me not knowing him "in real life" (this is her terminology, seriously) and that he's gonna be different in person, than he is when we're on the phone or online. And I said, "No. That's not how it's gonna go down Mom." And then she says, "And at any rate, I'd feel more comfortable if he came here first." ...HAHAHAHAHA. Fucking right, Jane. Sure. I'm going to have him come out here, so that you and the rest of my family can scare the piss out of him? Riiight. I held my tongue on the matter, and just kind of gave her this look that said, "I don't care what you think." and she puffed up again and said "Well, I'm not too thrilled about this, but do what you want."
Thank you very much, Mom. I am going to do what I want. Listen, I'm 20 years old. I'm going to do what I want to do, and that which will make me happy. I don't need your permission anymore. And while I could gladly say 'fuck you' and do whatever I please, it would be nice if I had your support in the matter. You always said that after what your mother and my aunt did to you, regarding my father and their dislike for him, you'd never do the same to me. And yeah, this is completely different, I understand. I'm about to hop on a plane to meet someone for the first time, who I'm already madly in love with. It's different than your situation. Definitely. But I would expect you, as my mother, to be supportive of me. And the fact that you aren't, after everything you've been through, and the promises you made me... Well, that's just really disappointing.
Either way, I'm going to Missouri at the end of December. And it will probably be the most amazing time of my life. I could care less what anyone else thinks about it.
~fin.
Oh! I get my math test back tomorrow. I took it in about 25 minutes, and was the first one finished and out of class. That's either really good, or really bad. At any rate, I'll let you know how I did tomorrow. (Yay for one class and then being able to come home and sleep.) :D
11/8/08
"Perfectly Flawed" is Perfectly Fucked
[Warning: I'm offensive, and I don't care. If you have a problem with my free expression, or anything I have to say; you can go fuck yourself.]
I was just talking to my friend Ben, and the term "perfectly flawed" came up. Immediately, the red flag in my brain popped up, indicating that some massive bullshit was close-at-hand. I mean, think about it. Even the phrase makes no sense. Perfect = Ideal. Flaw = Defect. A perfect flaw? More like a perfect oxymoron.
Ben mentioned some sort of idea/theory about humans being perfectly flawed. Now... I've never looked into any such theory, and quite frankly I wasn't even aware that there even was one -- but all of a sudden, I was curious. So I looked around for some written theory, and could find nothing. I did however, find this shit. Which of course pissed me off.
This chick thinks that her flaws are what makes her like everyone else. Every rapist, murderer, robber, and general scum bag on this earth -- is the same as her. "Because in the Lord's eyes, we're all sinners." Okay! So basically, this "savior" of hers, looks at her as a piece of shit. And she's completely happy content with continuing to worship he who does not, and has never existed. Why? Because the perfection in her flaws, is that her savior is going to offer her forgiveness. But only if she lives a certain way, and does certain things, and certainly only if she continues to worship 'the Lord'. Because "No one will ever be flawless. Except he who can redeem us all." What a load of shit. Forgiveness isn't conditional. There's no such thing as "Okay, I forgive you, but only if you ___". NO. No such thing. I'm sorry, but your non-existent savior is a manipulative prick. Definitely not perfect in any sense of the word.
But, I'm getting away from my point. Perfectly flawed is bullshit. Especially when looked at from this dipshit's point of view. But let me get away from this Jesus-Freak's interpretation, and focus on the literal aspect. I took these definitions from dictionary.com.
Flawed
-adjective
1. a feature that mars the perfection of something; defect; fault
Defect
-noun
1. a shortcoming or imperfection
Perfect
-adjective
1. conforming absolutely to the description or definition of an ideal type
Ideal
-noun
1. a conception of something in its perfection.
-adjective
9. existing only in the imagination; not real or actual: Nature is real; beauty is ideal.
I shouldn't have to explain this. Perfection and flaw are opposites. They cancel each other out. And adding in the thought that perfection (as well as religion, imo) is imaginary... Well, it makes the phrase moot.
Notes:
-I have no idea why I felt the need to dissect this as far as I did.
-I'm glad to have found a new blog location that doesn't suck, and which doesn't have the negative connotation of LiveJournal.
-I feel like this... tyrade of mine has no general point, other than to bitch about the stupidity of others. -shrug- So be it.
I was just talking to my friend Ben, and the term "perfectly flawed" came up. Immediately, the red flag in my brain popped up, indicating that some massive bullshit was close-at-hand. I mean, think about it. Even the phrase makes no sense. Perfect = Ideal. Flaw = Defect. A perfect flaw? More like a perfect oxymoron.
Ben mentioned some sort of idea/theory about humans being perfectly flawed. Now... I've never looked into any such theory, and quite frankly I wasn't even aware that there even was one -- but all of a sudden, I was curious. So I looked around for some written theory, and could find nothing. I did however, find this shit. Which of course pissed me off.
This chick thinks that her flaws are what makes her like everyone else. Every rapist, murderer, robber, and general scum bag on this earth -- is the same as her. "Because in the Lord's eyes, we're all sinners." Okay! So basically, this "savior" of hers, looks at her as a piece of shit. And she's completely happy content with continuing to worship he who does not, and has never existed. Why? Because the perfection in her flaws, is that her savior is going to offer her forgiveness. But only if she lives a certain way, and does certain things, and certainly only if she continues to worship 'the Lord'. Because "No one will ever be flawless. Except he who can redeem us all." What a load of shit. Forgiveness isn't conditional. There's no such thing as "Okay, I forgive you, but only if you ___". NO. No such thing. I'm sorry, but your non-existent savior is a manipulative prick. Definitely not perfect in any sense of the word.
But, I'm getting away from my point. Perfectly flawed is bullshit. Especially when looked at from this dipshit's point of view. But let me get away from this Jesus-Freak's interpretation, and focus on the literal aspect. I took these definitions from dictionary.com.
Flawed
-adjective
1. a feature that mars the perfection of something; defect; fault
Defect
-noun
1. a shortcoming or imperfection
Perfect
-adjective
1. conforming absolutely to the description or definition of an ideal type
Ideal
-noun
1. a conception of something in its perfection.
-adjective
9. existing only in the imagination; not real or actual: Nature is real; beauty is ideal.
I shouldn't have to explain this. Perfection and flaw are opposites. They cancel each other out. And adding in the thought that perfection (as well as religion, imo) is imaginary... Well, it makes the phrase moot.
~Fin.
Notes:
-I have no idea why I felt the need to dissect this as far as I did.
-I'm glad to have found a new blog location that doesn't suck, and which doesn't have the negative connotation of LiveJournal.
-I feel like this... tyrade of mine has no general point, other than to bitch about the stupidity of others. -shrug- So be it.
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