It's with the deepest regrets that I must inform you...

Dearest Seattle,

Once upon a time, I dreamt of uprooting my life, ditching the Long Island scene, and running away to live the Seattle life. Ferry boats, the needle, coffee shops, grunge... and the near constant rain. But I'd be happy even though it rained because I'd be close to the motherland of my true idol, Kurt. (You guys are real tight, remember?) I'd hide out from the rain in coffee shops when I wasn't otherwise indisposed with either my schooling or my adventures into the beautiful mountainous forests, and I'd enjoy the life I had made for myself. Then, something went terribly wrong.

Perhaps you knew of my plans, and became impatient for my time with you, and sent your wife, Climate towards New York to try and lure me in. Or perhaps it was something different altogether. Perhaps, you and the Climate had a bad marital spat -- and the Climate, seeking solace, came to New York for a new life, and now, you're sitting -- no, wallowing in regret because your Climate is having an affair with another landscape. Your forests are going un-bathed, your peoples attitudes towards life are dramatically shifting, and there's something missing...

I'll be quite frank with you, on her little 'mental vacation', Climate is causing problems. What she doesn't realize is that her harsh persona isn't charming to New Yorkers. Rather, she's come in like a bat from the fiery pits of hell, is and is messing with the wrong batch of people. We don't get depressed, like the folks back in Seattle... We get angry.

Anyway, the point of me writing, my dearest Seattle? I IMPLORE YOU -- whatever the reason for her picking up and moving -- YOU MUST FIX IT. For your sake and hers as well. I'm merely the messenger. OH! And while we're on the subject of myself -- I'd just like to inform you, that I want nothing to do with you, and I will NOT be relocating any time soon. It was sweet while it lasted, and you still have Kurt -- just don't contact me any longer. It won't look good on your record.

My deepest and most sincere regrets,
Lauren Elizabeth

Sappy idiot.

No matter who you are, what you've done, where you are, and what you think -- there's always going to be someone who loves and cares for you unconditionally. No matter what you do currently to make those people upset, annoyed, or skeptical about you -- they'll always love you and always be there for you. Time and distance aren't factors in how much you love someone... and for that, we should all be grateful.

That being said, I'm happy lately. It's nice to know that no matter how many people come in and out of your life, there are always going to be the few who remain true to you, and there for you -- no matter what.


I love you all.
-Lauren.

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Now playing: Other Lives - Black Tables
via FoxyTunes

Midnight, Meshuggah and My Meandering Mind.

Alliteration aside, I think I need help.

Sleep help, mainly. I'm having more and more trouble getting to sleep, and staying asleep. D:
I also need help with addressing my various issues with certain people and things.
Oh, and I certainly require help with my Kat Dennings weird-obsession thing. To be honest, it doesn't go much further than me wanting to be her best friend. But yeah. Enough of that.

PS: Listening to Meshuggah more and more lately. I'm enjoying it. It offends Mom, and I enjoy it a little more because of that. I like stuff that makes people raise their eyebrows. It's who I am.

Also, I need to stop drawing weird shit.
Well. That I think I can deal with.



BOB SAGET!!!
Love, Lauren. :)

The sad part is...

I actually used to have this nightmare when I was little. D: Whaaaat the fuck.


In other news...
-Lauren is exhausted to the point of delirium. Life has become like Wally-World.
-My KD obsession is growing. growing. G R O W I NG.
-My big change is starting to work! WHEE!
-WHY THE FUCK WON'T IT STOP RAINING!?


That is all.
What's the (arma)dillio?

I had to...

I've got the first like... minute of this as my text message ringtone, and every time I get a text I start laughing like crazy. I figured I'd share...



Show me your genitals. ;]

Live! From Seattle!

...Okay, so I'm not in Seattle. I'm definitely not in Seattle. But living on Long Island these days definitely FEELS like living in Seattle. Shit, we're getting more rain than anything. I can say now, with a straight face, that I no longer have any desire to live in Seattle, or Aberdeen, or anywhere in Washington that has this much precipitation.

A funny thing has happened though. For the first like... 2 weeks of this depressive rain cycle, I was getting like... REALLY depressed during the week. Then the rain would clear up for the weekend, and everything would be fine. But this week, the rain isn't depressing me as much. It's like I've gotten used to it or something. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not.

I just had a crazy thought though. What if this rain causes the grunge revival to happen on Long Island? Crappy emo kids would vanish, music would get infinitely better, and the Long Island music scene would have a rebirth.

That, my friends... That is the nicest thought I've had in a while.

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Now playing: Nirvana - Where Did You Sleep Last Night?
via FoxyTunes

Overcome.

Big change is coming soon. I've realized that I'm actually capable of it. So the work is gonna happen and I'll be all the better for it in the end. These next few months might just be real rough for me. Who knows. Maybe it'll be easy.


Also: Nose will be pierced by the end of June, and my 2nd tattoo is coming sometime in September. Still working out the finer details of that. I'm excited!!!!

Day out, day in. It's the alarm vs. me and the snooze button wins.

I'm sick of not feeling like I'm good enough. I'm not gonna do it anymore. The people I think should be there for me and accept me as I am, end up making me feel inadequate and I'm done with it. Maybe I'm not good enough for your standards, but with that fucking attitude you definitely aren't fitting mine. I'm done.

Monday's suck. If I had my way, I'd still be sleeping right now.

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Now playing: The Matches - Papercut Skin
via FoxyTunes

Dogs were barking, and the wedding was about to start!

Quick update:

-The wedding was amazing. Everyone looked spectacular. I think I even looked decent. -GASP- (I know right?) Tricia's bridal attendant seemed okay, even though I personally didn't see very much of her. The maitre’d was a douche, and pretty much sucked at his job. But we got lots of pictures, and the weather actually cleared up so the ceremony could take place outside. The reception was great. Lots of dancing, and laughing, and drinks, and totally fun times. Trish and Ev looked SO adorable together. I actually did the Soulja Boy dance with Christopher... Hahahaa. imsowhite. But yeah. The night was good. I came home exhausted and unable to sleep because of how strong the coffee was at the reception.

-Had to wake up at the ass-crack of dawn this morning to go to Hi-Hello-Goodbye-Kitty. Mad tired. And after this, I'm headed to the Rock Lobster to work. Wooosh.


Um, yeah I have something else to say but I'm gonna keep it to myself. It's a good something. No worries. :)

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Now playing: Jeremih - Birthday Sex
via FoxyTunes

Oh, good.

Mom always get pissed at me for no reason, and then does the annoying passive agressive thing, and pretends I doesn't exist. Makes me feel REAL good about myself, when my mom won't even look at me. Of course, I'm going to apologize first because there's no other way. She won't. I HAVE TO.


Fuck this shit.

Today's the wedding.

Did you say it?

Saw "The Hangover" tonight. That movie was funny as fuck. "Can you please put some pants on? I feel weird having to ask you twice." Bahahaha.


ALSO! Spoke to Jeremie tonight for the first time in what seems like forever. I fucking missed that kid. I need to talk to him some more...


I thought I'd have more to write, but instead I keep watching this, and crying. So here, you watch it too.



Did you say it? I love you. I don't ever want to live without you. You changed my life. Did you say it? Make a plan, set a goal, work toward it, but every now and then look around. Drink it in, cause this is it. It might all be gone tomorrow.

♥

Too weird to live, to rare to die.

I think I'm depressed. And by think, I mean that I'm pretty damn sure I am. And that's not good for all the obvious reasons.

Something's missing in my life. And I'm not gonna pretend like I don't know what it is, because it has become very clear to me in the past few days what my problem is. I want to be wanted. I'm yearning for attention. I've got so much love to give, and no one to give it to. And everyone I think I should give it to, ends up not wanting it, or not being worth the effort. I keep getting screwed over, which sucks on it's own, but then when that happens, I go and do dumb things, like talk to people that I know I probably should stay away from. And then, again, I end up getting hurt -- only this time it's my fault. It's a vicious circle. This may sound stupid and whiney, but I just want to be loved. (Gah, I sound like a baby.) I know my family loves me, and I know my friends love me, and I'm so thankful for that because I don't know what I'd do without those people in my life... But at the same time, I want something else.

I'm done complaining.
Life could be way worse.

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Now playing: Flyleaf - Perfect
via FoxyTunes

Just another freak in the freak kingdom...

I've been reading fear and loathing in las vegas basically all day. I'm a little addicted. Not sure why I felt an update was necessary but hey!



omfg it's hot as hell.

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Now playing: Mindless Self Indulgence - Bring the Pain
via FoxyTunes

my arms are killing me. i've been reduced to sitting with ice packs on them.

of course my mom asks me to go to the grocery store with her, and i decline because i feel like crap, and she acts like she's disappointed in me. this is unacceptable for two reasons. firstly, how hard is it to go to the grocery store alone? secondly, how many times has she gotten out of doing something for me because she felt like crap? ugh. her reaction at me not wanting to go on the most pointless journey ever, was annoying. ugh.

i'm done bitching. tonight's Anthony's graduation party. i'll post pictures or something later, to make this thing interesting again. hahaha, i say that as if it was interesting in the first place. WHATEVER, i'm shutting up.

Simulated Insomnia... No, wait. That's not right.

That is SO not right...


Sims 3 was released yesterday, and of course the rabid Sims freak I am... I bought it immediately. It took like all day to download, basically, because I'm an idiot and refused to restart my computer before I downloaded it. So the connection was weird for the first... 9 hours of downloading. Then when I got home from work, I decided to restart and see if it fixed the download problem. Wouldn't you know, an hour later I was playing? I'm really stupid sometimes. Haha.

The game is SICK though. The create a sim is more fun, and you can create any kind of person. The sims lifetime goal is now based on the characteristics you give your sim. Everything you can click on is customizable. Clothing, surfaces, linens -- all of it can be however you want it to be. The game play is impressive too. EA wasn't lying when they said it was seamless. You can go from your house, to the theater, then down to the beach, with literally NO loading time. And you can track your sims travels through town. I haven't began really working on the careers yet, but they look promising too. I should probably just say goodbye to my life now that I've got this game. Haha.

Now a letter to my arch rival...

Dear Insomnia,
WHY NOW?! Why would you pick now, of all times, to nestle your prickley self inbetween myself and Sleep? What did Sleep ever do to you? I'm sure nothing. And I'm also certain that maybe if you were more accepting of sleep, you wouldn't have such a bitter personality. Furthermore, what did I ever do to you? As far as I know, nothing. Please, let go of this grudge and LET ME SLEEP.
Thank you.
Love,
Lauren.


Now on a more serious note: People are mad dramatic. Cut the shit and let go of it. Everyone's got a side of the story to tell. You're preaching your side to the choir, you're not really listening to the other side. So just drop it. It's probably for the best anyway.

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Now playing: NeverShoutNever! - 30 Days
via FoxyTunes

E=MC Vagina.

Been a while!!!

Update on the past week:

• Florida was absolutely amazing. Basically no drama. Insane amounts of sun and fun. I couldn't pick a better group of people to go with. It definitely made the five of us that much closer. :D
• Came home to two days of really shitty weather. I was MISERABLE. I just wanted the warmth, and sun. But nooooooo. I was all set to either jump off my roof, or buy my way back to Florida. Haha. I survived it though!
• Got my grade for American History..... IT WAS AN A!!!! I was so effing happy, I almost cried. I know, that sounds really stupid, but I almost did. I def. thought I was gonna end up getting a C or D or something. But heyy. An A works a hell of a lot better.
• Best part of this whole school thing? My GPA blasted up from a 2.94 to a 3.58. FUCK YEAH. As of right now, I could apply to Stonybrook and get in. Hells yes. :D
• Trish and Evans wedding is nearer and nearer. STILL havent seen my top for the dress. -shrug- Soon enough, I guess. I just hope the alterations are done in time.

You bored? Go check this out. :D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvjDr8KKtsE