Kay, so that stupid allergic reaction is gone, but now my lips are chapped as hell, and I have to apply chapstick (100% natural lip butter... pfft.) like an addict. /sigh. SO ANNOYING.
Today I had pre-op testing for my surgery that's in a week. Lots of waiting around, answering questions, and being poked and prodded. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. So no complaints from me. My only issue with the whole thing was the snow that I had to travel through to get to the hospital. Seriously, Mother Nature? ::grumble grumble::
...ANYWAY! It's New Year's Eve!! Time to kick 2009 in the nuts and usher in 2010. Twenty-ten. Two-oh-One-oh. Otherwise known as: The Year of WIN.
Plans for 2010:
» Aesthetic make-overs galore. It's about time I make myself happy with myself. Ya digg?
» Get my CNA certification.
» Get a CNA job at a hospital or nursing/rehab facility.
Anything more than those three things I listed are just extra. Like, it'd be nice to get myself a car, go on a nice vacation, or I don't know... be in a decent relationship? Lol. But my MAIN focus is making myself happy. I can let those opportunities find me along the way. And if they don't? ...No biggie. So um... I guess here's where I talk about my resolutions?
In 2010 I will...
» Take more chances. I'm also going to stop wasting time making decisions that don't benefit ME, but rather spare the feelings of others. 2010 is about LAUREN.
» Stop worrying so much. I spent SO much time in 2009 worrying about "what-if". In 2010, the what-if's are gone. It's not healthy to worry about dumb shit.
» Stop taking things to heart. I spent a lot of 2009 being sore about guys that made me feel like shit about myself, because they didn't like me. I know I have my self loathing moments, but for what it's worth, I like myself. In 2010, no one is gonna make me feel like shit about myself.
There's definitely more than that, but who knows if I'll even stick to those?
Either way, I hope everyone has a happy and healthy New Year. PLEASE BE SAFE.
<3 Laurasaur
PS:
»» I TOTES JUST FELL IN LOVE WITH CaptainValor ON YOUTUBE ««
Go check out his stuff. It's all in ASL, but the songs he translates are fuckin amazing. AND if you're an ASL nerd like I am (which you're probably not) he also posts the glosses to his English>ASL interpretation videos. It's very convenient for fellow interpreters.
TIS ALL.
HAPPY almostNEW YEAR!!!
----------------
Now Playing: Hellogoodbye - Oh, It Is Love
12/29/09
The Annual Year End Re-Cap: 2009 Edition
I can't believe I've had this blog for a year. I don't think I've ever had a blog that I've kept up with STEADILY for an entire year. Yay for finally committing to a blog. P: ANYWAY, on to the point of this blog...
I didn't get to do one of these last year because if you remember, I was otherwise indisposed. -_-; AHNEYWAIZ -- Here's what made 2009 rock AND what made 2009 suck.
T3H SUXX0Rz:
Boy Issues:
Started off the year being depressed because my ex left NY. Acted like that was the end of the world. Alright, alright -- I was pretty torn up about it. As silly as it was. Whatevs. Then shit got progressively worse when he broke up with me a month later. 3 months of sadness. Bleh, whatever. Then I fell for a boy in the army who talked me up and down about all this bullshit that in the end never came to be because he dropped me like a bad habit. Ouch. I swear, I set myself up for this shit.
Immunodeficiency
I was sick A LOT in 2009. Probably cause I was all distressed over bullshit. THAT, or I was paying back some SERIOUS karmic debt because of my Swine Flue jokes. Either way, it wasn't a good year for my immune system.
Mom's diverticulitis
She was sick for like 3 weeks, in bed, and thought it was an ovarian cyst that ruptured. Finally, I made her go to the hospital because she ran a fever. Turns out she could have died if she hadn't gone to the ER when she did. An emergency surgery, 5 months of recovery, and ANOTHER surgery later, Momma-dukes is still not 100%.
The Infamous Ankle Incident
Well, DUH. Of course this would be on the list. You all know the story. Mid-October, I'm in my dance class bustin moves... I end up bustin my ankle and it all goes downhill from there. I needed surgery, and stayed in the hospital for 4 days. Had to withdraw from school. Had to take off from work. And here it is, almost January and I'm still not working.
Nassau Fucked Me. HARD.
Alright, if you need a reminder of this, just read an entry or two down. I'm not recapping.
TEH R0xXx0Rz!!1!!1!one!1!:
Flo-Rida
Spent a week in Sunny Florida with the NSBGC crew. It was awesome. Lots of fun, lots of laugh, lots of sunburn. Not much more to say. It was really nice.
Awesome Grades
I kicked the piss out of the Spring 09 Semester. Three A's and two B+'s. Fuckin' right. GPA hath been brought up to 3.75 or summat like that.
Red Mango
(Can you tell I'm REALLY reaching for stuff to go on the good list?) Red Mango is the shit and I was introduced to it by Sami this summer. Haha. :)
Excellent Music
One thing I can say about 2009 was that I downloaded a SHIT TON of amazing music. My ears were ecstatic this year. OH! And I saw WEEZY in concert!!! :3
WoW
I finally caved and started playing World of Warcraft... and I haven't offed myself in shame, because it's awesome. I'm enjoying myself. And I made some new friends that also play WoW that are pretty neat as well.
--
And that, my friends, was my year.
As you can see, it was pretty much a DUD.
Here's to 2010 being INTENSELY more satisfying.
-Laurasaur
----------------
Now Playing: Pearl Jam - Even Flow
I didn't get to do one of these last year because if you remember, I was otherwise indisposed. -_-; AHNEYWAIZ -- Here's what made 2009 rock AND what made 2009 suck.
T3H SUXX0Rz:
Boy Issues:
Started off the year being depressed because my ex left NY. Acted like that was the end of the world. Alright, alright -- I was pretty torn up about it. As silly as it was. Whatevs. Then shit got progressively worse when he broke up with me a month later. 3 months of sadness. Bleh, whatever. Then I fell for a boy in the army who talked me up and down about all this bullshit that in the end never came to be because he dropped me like a bad habit. Ouch. I swear, I set myself up for this shit.
Immunodeficiency
I was sick A LOT in 2009. Probably cause I was all distressed over bullshit. THAT, or I was paying back some SERIOUS karmic debt because of my Swine Flue jokes. Either way, it wasn't a good year for my immune system.
Mom's diverticulitis
She was sick for like 3 weeks, in bed, and thought it was an ovarian cyst that ruptured. Finally, I made her go to the hospital because she ran a fever. Turns out she could have died if she hadn't gone to the ER when she did. An emergency surgery, 5 months of recovery, and ANOTHER surgery later, Momma-dukes is still not 100%.
The Infamous Ankle Incident
Well, DUH. Of course this would be on the list. You all know the story. Mid-October, I'm in my dance class bustin moves... I end up bustin my ankle and it all goes downhill from there. I needed surgery, and stayed in the hospital for 4 days. Had to withdraw from school. Had to take off from work. And here it is, almost January and I'm still not working.
Nassau Fucked Me. HARD.
Alright, if you need a reminder of this, just read an entry or two down. I'm not recapping.
TEH R0xXx0Rz!!1!!1!one!1!:
Flo-Rida
Spent a week in Sunny Florida with the NSBGC crew. It was awesome. Lots of fun, lots of laugh, lots of sunburn. Not much more to say. It was really nice.
Awesome Grades
I kicked the piss out of the Spring 09 Semester. Three A's and two B+'s. Fuckin' right. GPA hath been brought up to 3.75 or summat like that.
Red Mango
(Can you tell I'm REALLY reaching for stuff to go on the good list?) Red Mango is the shit and I was introduced to it by Sami this summer. Haha. :)
Excellent Music
One thing I can say about 2009 was that I downloaded a SHIT TON of amazing music. My ears were ecstatic this year. OH! And I saw WEEZY in concert!!! :3
WoW
I finally caved and started playing World of Warcraft... and I haven't offed myself in shame, because it's awesome. I'm enjoying myself. And I made some new friends that also play WoW that are pretty neat as well.
--
And that, my friends, was my year.
As you can see, it was pretty much a DUD.
Here's to 2010 being INTENSELY more satisfying.
-Laurasaur
----------------
Now Playing: Pearl Jam - Even Flow
12/25/09
You'll shoot your eye out!
Ahh, a Christmas Day spent watching "A Christmas Story" is a Christmas Day well spent, in my eyes.
Not much to report since there's been nothing going on. But I will say this: We should all be thankful for the simple things in life. A roof over our heads... Family and friends... Lips that aren't suffering from a horrible allergic reaction...
Alright, that last one was a little personal. But omfg... You have no idea what this feels like. Never again shall I use softlips. This is torture. Bleh. And it's not even like anyone can SEE the little bumpies that I've got. They're blending into the color of my lips. HOWEVER, I'm self conscious about them. And aside from that, they're SO uncomfortable. D: It's calm down a bit from last night... My hopes are that tomorrow they'll be gone.
OH! And speaking of tomorrow! I'm gettin my glasses tomorrow!!!! :D FINALLY! I can rejoin the world of those with vision! This is probably the weirdest thing I've ever been excited about. /shrug.
Anyway... With that last pathetic note, I bid thee adieu.
Hope everyone's holiday was wonderful!
Who am I kidding? No one reads this. LOL.
Your faithful HoHoHoe,
♥ Laurasaur
::edit::
Can't believe I almost forgot to post this!
This afternoon I made my own stop motion animation thingermabobber. I'm fairly impressed by it, because I wasn't sure if I'd actually be able to pull it off. But I did! Even if it is a bit messy. Oh wells! Um... Here ya go! :)
Not much to report since there's been nothing going on. But I will say this: We should all be thankful for the simple things in life. A roof over our heads... Family and friends... Lips that aren't suffering from a horrible allergic reaction...
Alright, that last one was a little personal. But omfg... You have no idea what this feels like. Never again shall I use softlips. This is torture. Bleh. And it's not even like anyone can SEE the little bumpies that I've got. They're blending into the color of my lips. HOWEVER, I'm self conscious about them. And aside from that, they're SO uncomfortable. D: It's calm down a bit from last night... My hopes are that tomorrow they'll be gone.
OH! And speaking of tomorrow! I'm gettin my glasses tomorrow!!!! :D FINALLY! I can rejoin the world of those with vision! This is probably the weirdest thing I've ever been excited about. /shrug.
Anyway... With that last pathetic note, I bid thee adieu.
Hope everyone's holiday was wonderful!
Who am I kidding? No one reads this. LOL.
Your faithful HoHoHoe,
♥ Laurasaur
::edit::
Can't believe I almost forgot to post this!
This afternoon I made my own stop motion animation thingermabobber. I'm fairly impressed by it, because I wasn't sure if I'd actually be able to pull it off. But I did! Even if it is a bit messy. Oh wells! Um... Here ya go! :)
12/24/09
HOLY BALLS, BATMAN!
Yay for Christmastime fun. Went to the Annual Christmas Eve Get-Together with the Focker Family... Lots of fun. Except I didn't feel good at the end, and left early. Bleh.
I don't really have much to say right now.
Aside from saying DAMN YOU to the Softlips chapstick brand. Totes gave me an allergic reaction. Boo. :(
Oh, it's 12:03.
It's officially Christmas Day.
Technically. :P
Merry Christmas, lovies.
<3Lore-uhh-saur. :)
I don't really have much to say right now.
Aside from saying DAMN YOU to the Softlips chapstick brand. Totes gave me an allergic reaction. Boo. :(
Oh, it's 12:03.
It's officially Christmas Day.
Technically. :P
Merry Christmas, lovies.
<3Lore-uhh-saur. :)
12/22/09
Fuck You Nassau, I'm not coming back.
So, I went on Banner last night to check my schedule and find out what day in January the Spring semester starts. Only I couldn't get to my schedule because it says I have a financial hold on my account. A financial hold. Makes NO FUCKING SENSE, since I have been receiving Financial Aid since Fall 2008. So I call up the Bursars office this morning, and was put on hold for 15 minutes before being hung up on by some cunt named Karen? Maybe Diane? Some generic douche-nozzle name. So, I call back, and after 25 minutes of conversation regarding my status as a student, being put on hold, and listening to her huff and puff as she navigated through the Banner system like only a blind man in a maze would... I get THIS shit dropped on me. Apparently during the Fall 2008 semester, my Pell went through late and I had to pay for school. I got reimbursed though. But here's the clincher. They sent me about $400 too much. Okay, fine. Now she tells me that I owe the entire sum of Fall 2009's tuition AS WELL AS tuition for Spring 2010. AND THEN she says there's nothing SHE can do for me (fucking DUH.) so she proceeds to tell me she'll be transferring my call to the Financial Aid department. She ends up transferring me to the BIOLOGY departments snide troll receptionist, who then transfers my call to the snot at the Info Kiosk. I finally get my call sent to the Financial Aid department... and the fucking place is busy all god damned day. Awesome.
So now, on top of having to write to the Dean of Students about my medical withdrawal, I also have to appeal to the President's refund committee, so that I am not held responsible for paying for this past semester, seeing as I was not able to complete it because of the bullshit that went on with my ankle. EXCELLENT. Another cluster-fuck of people not being able to tell me exactly what I've got to do to make things right. So excited.
I've reached my breaking point. I'm SO sick of the bullshit at NCC. It's not worth the wasted time or the wasted energy spent being pissed off. I will NOT be returning to that school as a student. The next time I'm on that campus will be to do 2 things:
So now, on top of having to write to the Dean of Students about my medical withdrawal, I also have to appeal to the President's refund committee, so that I am not held responsible for paying for this past semester, seeing as I was not able to complete it because of the bullshit that went on with my ankle. EXCELLENT. Another cluster-fuck of people not being able to tell me exactly what I've got to do to make things right. So excited.
I've reached my breaking point. I'm SO sick of the bullshit at NCC. It's not worth the wasted time or the wasted energy spent being pissed off. I will NOT be returning to that school as a student. The next time I'm on that campus will be to do 2 things:
1. Request my transcript for transfer to another college.
2. Cunt-punt Karen/Diane/Dickbutt so hard her head pops off.
2. Cunt-punt Karen/Diane/Dickbutt so hard her head pops off.
And with that, I'm done bitching out Nassau. Though, considering the next few steps... this won't be the last you'll hear from me on the subject of good old NCC.
Peace, Rainbows and all that other happy bullshit.
<3Laurasaur.
Peace, Rainbows and all that other happy bullshit.
<3Laurasaur.
12/21/09
Nice Work, Bone Daddy.
Holy balls, did it snow. I didn't bother to post pics of the snow because there really isn't much you can see in terms of depth, from the top of my tower... But according to Samantha, it was knee deep. Which put into terms of Lauren's height? The plow piles are WAY taller than me. Dayum. Lots of snow.
ANYWAY.
Went to the Bone Doc today... Got there 15 minutes early, got in 15 minutes late, got seen at about 4:50. Almost an hour of wasted time. BUT Bone Daddy says: My ankle looks amazing considering the bolt that's in place.
Also, he explained the surgery for me. It's REALLY not that invasive. Basically, I'll go to NSLIJ @ Glen Cove Hospital and do all my pre-screens, then when it's time, he'll HEAVILY sedate me, and use local anesthetic on the skin so that I don't feel shit. Using a fluoroscope (high intensity, instant x-ray) he'll make a small incision (about the width of a dime) and take the bolt out. He said I'll be in pain for a bit because of the bolt running through scar tissue and what-not (I'm getting percs!) but that within a week I'll be walking and fully functioning. (aka: Not attending dance classes, tyvm.)
And with that... It seems I have nothing more to say.
OH! Nothing, except for Wednesday being the 2nd Annual United Nations Christmas Party. Last year, Italy hosted, and it's rumored that this year Poland is hosting. Looks like it will be a success! Can't wait! :D
-Laurasaur
----------------
Now Playing: Headhunterz - My Name Is
ANYWAY.
Went to the Bone Doc today... Got there 15 minutes early, got in 15 minutes late, got seen at about 4:50. Almost an hour of wasted time. BUT Bone Daddy says: My ankle looks amazing considering the bolt that's in place.
Also, he explained the surgery for me. It's REALLY not that invasive. Basically, I'll go to NSLIJ @ Glen Cove Hospital and do all my pre-screens, then when it's time, he'll HEAVILY sedate me, and use local anesthetic on the skin so that I don't feel shit. Using a fluoroscope (high intensity, instant x-ray) he'll make a small incision (about the width of a dime) and take the bolt out. He said I'll be in pain for a bit because of the bolt running through scar tissue and what-not (I'm getting percs!) but that within a week I'll be walking and fully functioning. (aka: Not attending dance classes, tyvm.)
And with that... It seems I have nothing more to say.
OH! Nothing, except for Wednesday being the 2nd Annual United Nations Christmas Party. Last year, Italy hosted, and it's rumored that this year Poland is hosting. Looks like it will be a success! Can't wait! :D
-Laurasaur
----------------
Now Playing: Headhunterz - My Name Is
12/18/09
My sources say, "The road is clear and all street signs point the way."
Are you gonna stand around til 2012 AD?
What are you waiting for,
A certain shade of green?
I think I grew a gray watching you procrastinate.
What are you waiting for
A certain shade of green?
It's gonna snow a shitload tomorrow. Liiiike blizzard style. AWESOME! Eh, I'm not bitching. Not like I'm expected to go out in it anyway. I'm probably just gonna spend the day attempting to bake. Y'know how I roll.
Like really really REALLY effing badly.
It's the Sanyo Xacti CG10. 10.0 MP of pure sex. Hi Def video, 3" LCD screen, high quality audio, rechargable litho-ion battery, USB pictbridge direct transfer enabled... BASICALLY the video makers wet dream. In an affordable, aesthetically pleasing package. :) (It was also used in a few youtube campaigns.)
I know there's no chance in hell that I'm gonna get this for Christmas or anything so I'm just gonna save up for it myself. It'll be more gratifying when I buy it myself. Plus, it's really inexpensive, so I won't have to save up for it for like a bagillion years. It's ballin.
...In other news, I asked my mom for a new pair of glasses for Christmas this year. I lost mine back in liiike September or something and I've been going without ever since. Awesome.
Bleh, not much more to say.
Adieu,
Lulu
ps: This song is absolutely amazing.
----------------
Now Playing: Incubus - Certain Shade of Green
What are you waiting for,
A certain shade of green?
I think I grew a gray watching you procrastinate.
What are you waiting for
A certain shade of green?
It's gonna snow a shitload tomorrow. Liiiike blizzard style. AWESOME! Eh, I'm not bitching. Not like I'm expected to go out in it anyway. I'm probably just gonna spend the day attempting to bake. Y'know how I roll.
Anyway! I want this:
Like really really REALLY effing badly.It's the Sanyo Xacti CG10. 10.0 MP of pure sex. Hi Def video, 3" LCD screen, high quality audio, rechargable litho-ion battery, USB pictbridge direct transfer enabled... BASICALLY the video makers wet dream. In an affordable, aesthetically pleasing package. :) (It was also used in a few youtube campaigns.)
I know there's no chance in hell that I'm gonna get this for Christmas or anything so I'm just gonna save up for it myself. It'll be more gratifying when I buy it myself. Plus, it's really inexpensive, so I won't have to save up for it for like a bagillion years. It's ballin.
...In other news, I asked my mom for a new pair of glasses for Christmas this year. I lost mine back in liiike September or something and I've been going without ever since. Awesome.
Bleh, not much more to say.
Adieu,
Lulu
ps: This song is absolutely amazing.
----------------
Now Playing: Incubus - Certain Shade of Green
12/16/09
According To You
So, the year 2009 as a whole, has been a complete shit-gasm. To paint the perfect picture of what my year has been like, I'll simply show you this picture:
/sigh.
I like that song a lot.
Just sayin.
~Lauren la Puta Del Diablo <3>
The Year 2009
Anyway, my point in writing is not to officially bitch out 2009. (I'll save that for an update closer to the end of the year. P:) I just felt like sharing this song by Orianthi, called "According To You." I'm gonna catch shit about this from Sam, because I REFUSED to listen to this song at first because of who I associated it with. (Think.) But here's the song, and I'll post some of the lyrics because I like those too. :P
According to you I'm stupid, I'm useless.
I can't do anything right.
According to you I'm difficult, hard to please,
Forever changing my mind.
I'm a mess in a dress, can't show up on time
Even if it would save my life.
According to you, according to you.
But according to him I'm beautiful, incredible
He can't get me out of his head
According to him I'm funny, irresistable.
Everything he ever wanted.
Everything is opposite.
I don't feel like stopping it.
So baby tell me what I got to lose?
He's into me for everything I'm not...
According to you.
According to you I'm stupid, I'm useless.
I can't do anything right.
According to you I'm difficult, hard to please,
Forever changing my mind.
I'm a mess in a dress, can't show up on time
Even if it would save my life.
According to you, according to you.
But according to him I'm beautiful, incredible
He can't get me out of his head
According to him I'm funny, irresistable.
Everything he ever wanted.
Everything is opposite.
I don't feel like stopping it.
So baby tell me what I got to lose?
He's into me for everything I'm not...
According to you.
/sigh.
I like that song a lot.
Just sayin.
~Lauren la Puta Del Diablo <3>
12/11/09
List-ism #1: Annoyances
I just read something in my old journal, that reminded me how much I like writing lists. SO WITHOUT DELAY, I PRESENT TO YOU...!:
Lauren's List of Annoyances
(this goes well beyond the obvious "lying, cheating, stealing" thing.)
1. When my mom gets cold in the middle of the night and then turns the heat on.
My room, being as small as it is, heats up VERY quickly. So when she jacks the heat up to like 75 in the middle of the night, I wake up feeling like I just ran 3 miles through the deserts of Kenya. Parched, sweaty, and pissed off.
2. People who try to carry out online conversations without actually saying anything.
It's kind of hard to have a conversation with someone who doesn't contribute. They'll say 'What's up?' And you'll go on to tell them just exactly what IS up, and they either DON'T reply, reply 6 years later, or you get an "lol". It's much like carrying on a conversation with a brick wall. /facepalm Point is, don't talk to me unless you're going to TALK to me. End of discussion.
3. When YouTube videos take FOREVER to buffer.
I could go on FOREVER about this, but I'll keep it short and sweet. I know my internet speed is THE SHIT, and my computer is THE SHIT. Why in Kurt's name is it taking this SHIT forever to load?! No bueno, YouTube.
4. Being Ignored For No Good Reason.
Well, let me rephrase that. There very well may BE a reason for the ignoring going on, and that's all well and good, but PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK, don't keep me on the outside of the issue. You're annoyed at me? Tell me, so I can clean up MY fucking act enough to resolve the problem. Don't just ignore me, because what THAT does is piss me off, and chances are you'll get more 'bad behavior' from me. ...Just sayin.
5. People Who Don't Shut The Fuck Up....... Ever.
Anyone who knows me, knows that I absolutely love talking. Maybe I just like the sound of my own voice. Theories abound on that one, but my point is, I looove to talk. HOWEVER, there comes a point in every Scandinavian man's life, when he just has to drawn the line. Let me be more specific. I love talking, in that, I love having conversations. When a conversation lulls, the silence is often where you consider what you've just heard, and are thinking of other things to say. Or, just enjoying the silence. Please, please, PLEASE... Don't be the fucker that babbles through the silence with pointless, ineffectual bullshit. Pretty please? :)
6. People Who Waste Space at NCC
I'm really sick of going to register for a class, only to find out that it's full, when I know that at LEAST 4 of the people in that class, are only registered for it so they can remain a full-time student and thus remain on their parent's insurance. Also, I'm not being too bold in saying that a good 75% of the population at NCC are wasting the air that they breathe, because from the way they act, it's QUITE obvious that the air isn't making it to their brains. (Seriously, Eddie will back me on this.)
7. Seeing That One Random Person From High School, Everywhere.
Do I even have to elaborate on this one? I'll be short. I graduated three years ago, and the fact that I'm still living in Glen Cove depresses me. Glen Cove has a HUGE population. Why the FUCK do I see the same people everywhere?
8. How Small The City of Glen Cove Really Is.
It is for this reason, that occurances like #7 happen ALL THE TIME.
9. People Who See My Aunt Out & About, and Tell Me About It.
"Oh, hey Laur! I saw your Aunt walking to Rising Tides the other day, while I was driving." ...Um. Yeah? Your point? This is going to sound mean, but I don't give a rat's taint where the fuck she was, and what she was doing. I DONT CARE. Truthfully, my aunt could have her own section on this particular post about how she annoys me. Shit, she could have an entire blog dedicated to how she annoys and embarrasses me. So, let me put the kabbash on this problem, once and for all: You see her somewhere? Keep it to yourself, I'm not interested.
10. Writer's Block. Also, Artist's Block.
Nothing sucks more than having an idea in your head for what you're going to draw or write, and then not being able to get it onto the paper the right way. And when writer's/artist's block hits me, it hits hard. I'll retire to my bedroom, claiming to be writing or drawing, and you'll find me six hours later, nothing written, and playing WoW or something else.
<3 Ell Vee
----------------
Now Playing: Norma Jean - Memphis Will Be Laid To Waste
Lauren's List of Annoyances
(this goes well beyond the obvious "lying, cheating, stealing" thing.)
1. When my mom gets cold in the middle of the night and then turns the heat on.
My room, being as small as it is, heats up VERY quickly. So when she jacks the heat up to like 75 in the middle of the night, I wake up feeling like I just ran 3 miles through the deserts of Kenya. Parched, sweaty, and pissed off.
2. People who try to carry out online conversations without actually saying anything.
It's kind of hard to have a conversation with someone who doesn't contribute. They'll say 'What's up?' And you'll go on to tell them just exactly what IS up, and they either DON'T reply, reply 6 years later, or you get an "lol". It's much like carrying on a conversation with a brick wall. /facepalm Point is, don't talk to me unless you're going to TALK to me. End of discussion.
3. When YouTube videos take FOREVER to buffer.
I could go on FOREVER about this, but I'll keep it short and sweet. I know my internet speed is THE SHIT, and my computer is THE SHIT. Why in Kurt's name is it taking this SHIT forever to load?! No bueno, YouTube.
4. Being Ignored For No Good Reason.
Well, let me rephrase that. There very well may BE a reason for the ignoring going on, and that's all well and good, but PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK, don't keep me on the outside of the issue. You're annoyed at me? Tell me, so I can clean up MY fucking act enough to resolve the problem. Don't just ignore me, because what THAT does is piss me off, and chances are you'll get more 'bad behavior' from me. ...Just sayin.
5. People Who Don't Shut The Fuck Up....... Ever.
Anyone who knows me, knows that I absolutely love talking. Maybe I just like the sound of my own voice. Theories abound on that one, but my point is, I looove to talk. HOWEVER, there comes a point in every Scandinavian man's life, when he just has to drawn the line. Let me be more specific. I love talking, in that, I love having conversations. When a conversation lulls, the silence is often where you consider what you've just heard, and are thinking of other things to say. Or, just enjoying the silence. Please, please, PLEASE... Don't be the fucker that babbles through the silence with pointless, ineffectual bullshit. Pretty please? :)
6. People Who Waste Space at NCC
I'm really sick of going to register for a class, only to find out that it's full, when I know that at LEAST 4 of the people in that class, are only registered for it so they can remain a full-time student and thus remain on their parent's insurance. Also, I'm not being too bold in saying that a good 75% of the population at NCC are wasting the air that they breathe, because from the way they act, it's QUITE obvious that the air isn't making it to their brains. (Seriously, Eddie will back me on this.)
7. Seeing That One Random Person From High School, Everywhere.
Do I even have to elaborate on this one? I'll be short. I graduated three years ago, and the fact that I'm still living in Glen Cove depresses me. Glen Cove has a HUGE population. Why the FUCK do I see the same people everywhere?
8. How Small The City of Glen Cove Really Is.
It is for this reason, that occurances like #7 happen ALL THE TIME.
9. People Who See My Aunt Out & About, and Tell Me About It.
"Oh, hey Laur! I saw your Aunt walking to Rising Tides the other day, while I was driving." ...Um. Yeah? Your point? This is going to sound mean, but I don't give a rat's taint where the fuck she was, and what she was doing. I DONT CARE. Truthfully, my aunt could have her own section on this particular post about how she annoys me. Shit, she could have an entire blog dedicated to how she annoys and embarrasses me. So, let me put the kabbash on this problem, once and for all: You see her somewhere? Keep it to yourself, I'm not interested.
10. Writer's Block. Also, Artist's Block.
Nothing sucks more than having an idea in your head for what you're going to draw or write, and then not being able to get it onto the paper the right way. And when writer's/artist's block hits me, it hits hard. I'll retire to my bedroom, claiming to be writing or drawing, and you'll find me six hours later, nothing written, and playing WoW or something else.
<3 Ell Vee
----------------
Now Playing: Norma Jean - Memphis Will Be Laid To Waste
12/9/09
WOW.
I'm happier lately.
OH! And I played last night for 6 hours. And I'm not a mindless WoW drone. HAH! I've just proven myself wrong, and given myself the justification for wanting to continue to play after my trial is up. Plus, it's a lot more fun for me now, because of that Vent thing Eddie had me install. Him and his friends are pretty nice/funny.
PS: I think it's pretty funny that my username is Destery. Bahaha, of all the names in the world. :]
Oh, and it was snowing last night at like 1 or 2 in the morning. I was VERY upset. But I woke up and it was all melted this morning so I'm happy again. ^_^;;
I'm not being a priss about the snow either, I just think that it'd be REALLY supafly awesome of Mother Nature to hold off on the dumping of the white stuff (that sounds bad... I'm leaving it. haha) until I'm able to walk again. I know how difficult it is to crutch around in the rain, and I DONT want to learn how to do it in the snow. (Again, that sounded bad.)
Um... I woke up like half an hour ago.
Imma go NOM.
-Laur. <3
OH! And I played last night for 6 hours. And I'm not a mindless WoW drone. HAH! I've just proven myself wrong, and given myself the justification for wanting to continue to play after my trial is up. Plus, it's a lot more fun for me now, because of that Vent thing Eddie had me install. Him and his friends are pretty nice/funny.
PS: I think it's pretty funny that my username is Destery. Bahaha, of all the names in the world. :]
Oh, and it was snowing last night at like 1 or 2 in the morning. I was VERY upset. But I woke up and it was all melted this morning so I'm happy again. ^_^;;
I'm not being a priss about the snow either, I just think that it'd be REALLY supafly awesome of Mother Nature to hold off on the dumping of the white stuff (that sounds bad... I'm leaving it. haha) until I'm able to walk again. I know how difficult it is to crutch around in the rain, and I DONT want to learn how to do it in the snow. (Again, that sounded bad.)
Um... I woke up like half an hour ago.
Imma go NOM.
-Laur. <3
12/5/09
Oh god. Get me off of my computer.
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name:
lauren elizabeth
Birthday:
may 7
Birthplace:
glen cove. wah-wah!
Current Location:
glen cove.
Eye Color:
brown
Hair Color:
black. and dirty blonde roots. i need hair dye NOW.
Height:
5'4" and 3/4ths.
Right Handed or Left Handed:
righty.
Your Heritage:
50% mainly german and 50% puerto rican.
The Shoes You Wore Today:
i haven't had shoes on.
Your Weakness:
boys, frozen yogurt, proper grammar, hot chocolate from D&D
Your Fears:
cancer, falling
Your Perfect Pizza:
buffchix lol
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:
09 is over and it's been shit. but for 2010? get outta nassau, get my CNA, get a job at GCCNR, get myself a car, get accepted into the Molloy nursing program... I think that's enough for now.
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:
definitely WTF. then any variant of lol, omfg, stfu and gtfo. OH. i should probably mention my blatant over use of the phrase "Seriously? Seriously."
Thoughts First Waking Up:
"No fucking WAY."
Your Best Physical Feature:
my freckle patch.
Your Bedtime:
whenever i get sleepy -- typically around 2 or 3 in the morning
Your Most Missed Memory:
feeling wanted
Pepsi or Coke:
pepsi
McDonalds or Burger King:
i hate BK, but mc donalds isnt much better, except for their nuggets. omfg o__o; mc d's nuggets are lifeblood.
Single or Group Dates?
i don't think i've ever been on a real date
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:
lipton?
Chocolate or Vanilla:
this makes me want ice cream. right now. idc what kind. give! nao!
Cappuccino or Coffee:
cappuccino with extra foam or iced coffee, im not picky. =]
Do you Smoke:
nopers.
Do you Swear:
like a sailor.
Do you Sing:
like, all the time!
Do you Shower Daily:
at least once.
Have you Been in Love:
i was once.
Do you want to go to College:
technically, i'm in college right now. but um. im not because im broken. /sigh
Do you want to get Married:
eventually, it'd be nice
Do you want kids:
yeah, that too would be nice, i 'spose.
Do you belive in yourself:
not really. i probably should do that more.
Do you get Motion Sickness:
negative.
Do you think you are Attractive:
double negative. no, wait, that means affirmative. no, im not.
Are you a Health Freak:
oh yes......... sikee.
Do you get along with your Parents:
mom, yeah, mostly.
Do you like Thunderstorms:
not when they wake me up from a perfectly decent slumber
Do you play an Instrument:
i whine. does that count?
In the past month have you Smoked:
noes!
In the past month have you been on Drugs:
silly. no.
In the past month have you gone on a Date:
harsh, no.
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:
no. =[
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:
no, but now that you say it, the prospect seems deightful. i don't plan on it.
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:
fuck you. =[
In the past month have you been on Stage:
no.
In the past month have you been Dumped:
can't get dumped when you're single.
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:
It's winter. Que loco!
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:
No.
Ever been Drunk:
Si, senor.
Ever been called a Tease:
Yeah. Bullshitt.
Ever been Beaten up:
Not on a serious level.
Ever Shoplifted:
no?
How do you want to Die:
um.... don't wanna think about it. :D
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:
RN.
What country would you most like to Visit:
Greeeeece.
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color:
i don't really care.
Favourite Hair Color:
green. :P kidding. um, idc really.
Short or Long Hair:
doesn't matter. not TOO long though.
Height:
taller than me.
Weight:
dont care.
Best Clothing Style:
are people really this materialistic? doesn't matter to me, as long as he isn't a TOTAL scrub.
Number of Drugs I have taken:
one.
Number of CDs I own:
too many
Number of Piercings:
2.
Number of things in my Past I Regret:
if i sat here and listed them all, you would be dead from natural causes before i finished.
oh, i love this song. :3
----------------
Now playing: Bloc Party - Flux
via FoxyTunes
Name:
lauren elizabeth
Birthday:
may 7
Birthplace:
glen cove. wah-wah!
Current Location:
glen cove.
Eye Color:
brown
Hair Color:
black. and dirty blonde roots. i need hair dye NOW.
Height:
5'4" and 3/4ths.
Right Handed or Left Handed:
righty.
Your Heritage:
50% mainly german and 50% puerto rican.
The Shoes You Wore Today:
i haven't had shoes on.
Your Weakness:
boys, frozen yogurt, proper grammar, hot chocolate from D&D
Your Fears:
cancer, falling
Your Perfect Pizza:
buffchix lol
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:
09 is over and it's been shit. but for 2010? get outta nassau, get my CNA, get a job at GCCNR, get myself a car, get accepted into the Molloy nursing program... I think that's enough for now.
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:
definitely WTF. then any variant of lol, omfg, stfu and gtfo. OH. i should probably mention my blatant over use of the phrase "Seriously? Seriously."
Thoughts First Waking Up:
"No fucking WAY."
Your Best Physical Feature:
my freckle patch.
Your Bedtime:
whenever i get sleepy -- typically around 2 or 3 in the morning
Your Most Missed Memory:
feeling wanted
Pepsi or Coke:
pepsi
McDonalds or Burger King:
i hate BK, but mc donalds isnt much better, except for their nuggets. omfg o__o; mc d's nuggets are lifeblood.
Single or Group Dates?
i don't think i've ever been on a real date
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:
lipton?
Chocolate or Vanilla:
this makes me want ice cream. right now. idc what kind. give! nao!
Cappuccino or Coffee:
cappuccino with extra foam or iced coffee, im not picky. =]
Do you Smoke:
nopers.
Do you Swear:
like a sailor.
Do you Sing:
like, all the time!
Do you Shower Daily:
at least once.
Have you Been in Love:
i was once.
Do you want to go to College:
technically, i'm in college right now. but um. im not because im broken. /sigh
Do you want to get Married:
eventually, it'd be nice
Do you want kids:
yeah, that too would be nice, i 'spose.
Do you belive in yourself:
not really. i probably should do that more.
Do you get Motion Sickness:
negative.
Do you think you are Attractive:
double negative. no, wait, that means affirmative. no, im not.
Are you a Health Freak:
oh yes......... sikee.
Do you get along with your Parents:
mom, yeah, mostly.
Do you like Thunderstorms:
not when they wake me up from a perfectly decent slumber
Do you play an Instrument:
i whine. does that count?
In the past month have you Smoked:
noes!
In the past month have you been on Drugs:
silly. no.
In the past month have you gone on a Date:
harsh, no.
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:
no. =[
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:
no, but now that you say it, the prospect seems deightful. i don't plan on it.
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:
fuck you. =[
In the past month have you been on Stage:
no.
In the past month have you been Dumped:
can't get dumped when you're single.
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:
It's winter. Que loco!
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:
No.
Ever been Drunk:
Si, senor.
Ever been called a Tease:
Yeah. Bullshitt.
Ever been Beaten up:
Not on a serious level.
Ever Shoplifted:
no?
How do you want to Die:
um.... don't wanna think about it. :D
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:
RN.
What country would you most like to Visit:
Greeeeece.
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color:
i don't really care.
Favourite Hair Color:
green. :P kidding. um, idc really.
Short or Long Hair:
doesn't matter. not TOO long though.
Height:
taller than me.
Weight:
dont care.
Best Clothing Style:
are people really this materialistic? doesn't matter to me, as long as he isn't a TOTAL scrub.
Number of Drugs I have taken:
one.
Number of CDs I own:
too many
Number of Piercings:
2.
Number of things in my Past I Regret:
if i sat here and listed them all, you would be dead from natural causes before i finished.
oh, i love this song. :3
----------------
Now playing: Bloc Party - Flux
via FoxyTunes
12/4/09
I'm smart.
I figure, if I'm gonna have to keep telling doctors exactly what it is I did to myself, I might as well know what the MEDICAL name of everything is. So I did some reasearch... And the real names of what I did to myself are as follows:
1. Trimalleolar fracture (L) treated with surgical incision of a 7 in' plate and 5 screws to stabilize ankle.
2. Tibiofibular Fracture-Diastasis (L) treated with surgical incision of transsyndesmotic bolt.
1. Trimalleolar fracture (L) treated with surgical incision of a 7 in' plate and 5 screws to stabilize ankle.
2. Tibiofibular Fracture-Diastasis (L) treated with surgical incision of transsyndesmotic bolt.
12/2/09
HELLA DANK!
Update from Lauren-Land:
1. Cast is off! No, don't start partying yet... I'm still not allowed to walk because of the screw that's currently holding my tibia and fibula together. The screw is acting as the ligament that would have been there if it hadn't been torn all to hell when I broke my ankle. (I really did a number on myself.) If I were to break the screw, and have the break occur in-between my tibia and fibula... Well, I'd have ANOTHER surgery, where Doc would have to drill a freaking hole straight THROUGH my fibula, to retrieve the second half of the tib-fib screw. Mm, tasty, right? Sooo, it's been decided for me, that to eliminate the risk, I'm going to be 100% Compliance Patient -- so that when I FINALLY have the effing tib-fib screw removed, it won't be in pieces, AND as an added bonus, I'll be able to walk again. VICTORIOUS!
2. My mood? Eh, well, I'll say this... I've been experiencing some high's and low's lately. Don't worry, I'm not going crazy. It's just being cooped up at home like this, I get frustrated easily. Also, it's kind of lonely over here. Mom is 2 weeks post-op, and already going into work to do filing for a few hours each day and make extra money, til she can go back to work Full Time. I'm jealous. I want nothing more than to work. I'd file EVERY DAY for like 12 hours if I could right now. I hate being bored like this. Haha.
3. Oh, and my boredom?! LOL... Boredom does funny things to you. Like, this new game I've started playing. Except it's not new at all. I've been complaining about it since my junior year of High School. I've spent quite a bit of time hating the game, and chastising my friends who played it. Ugh... And now? Now I'm playing World of Warcraft. -facepalm- I know, I know. I actually like it, and it's keeping me entertained while I'm on medical house arrest. So while I'm on the 10 day trial right now, I find it VERY hard to believe that I WONT be eventually paying for this game. UNDEAD WARRIOR, what whaaat? -sigh- Yeah, I just said that.
4. FINALLY! This year is almost fucking over. Thank god, I can't stand it anymore. This has been, by far, the worst year of my life. I want it gone and over with. 2010 couldn't come sooner. I need something good to look forward to.
Anyway, I think that's all I had to say.
~Lulu
PS: OH, crap. I forgot to mention... I'm currently obsessed with Lady Gaga. -sigh- Yeah, that really happened. BUT COME ON, SHE'S FABULOUS!
----------------
Now playing: Lady Gaga - Bad Romance
via FoxyTunes
1. Cast is off! No, don't start partying yet... I'm still not allowed to walk because of the screw that's currently holding my tibia and fibula together. The screw is acting as the ligament that would have been there if it hadn't been torn all to hell when I broke my ankle. (I really did a number on myself.) If I were to break the screw, and have the break occur in-between my tibia and fibula... Well, I'd have ANOTHER surgery, where Doc would have to drill a freaking hole straight THROUGH my fibula, to retrieve the second half of the tib-fib screw. Mm, tasty, right? Sooo, it's been decided for me, that to eliminate the risk, I'm going to be 100% Compliance Patient -- so that when I FINALLY have the effing tib-fib screw removed, it won't be in pieces, AND as an added bonus, I'll be able to walk again. VICTORIOUS!
2. My mood? Eh, well, I'll say this... I've been experiencing some high's and low's lately. Don't worry, I'm not going crazy. It's just being cooped up at home like this, I get frustrated easily. Also, it's kind of lonely over here. Mom is 2 weeks post-op, and already going into work to do filing for a few hours each day and make extra money, til she can go back to work Full Time. I'm jealous. I want nothing more than to work. I'd file EVERY DAY for like 12 hours if I could right now. I hate being bored like this. Haha.
3. Oh, and my boredom?! LOL... Boredom does funny things to you. Like, this new game I've started playing. Except it's not new at all. I've been complaining about it since my junior year of High School. I've spent quite a bit of time hating the game, and chastising my friends who played it. Ugh... And now? Now I'm playing World of Warcraft. -facepalm- I know, I know. I actually like it, and it's keeping me entertained while I'm on medical house arrest. So while I'm on the 10 day trial right now, I find it VERY hard to believe that I WONT be eventually paying for this game. UNDEAD WARRIOR, what whaaat? -sigh- Yeah, I just said that.
4. FINALLY! This year is almost fucking over. Thank god, I can't stand it anymore. This has been, by far, the worst year of my life. I want it gone and over with. 2010 couldn't come sooner. I need something good to look forward to.
Anyway, I think that's all I had to say.
~Lulu
PS: OH, crap. I forgot to mention... I'm currently obsessed with Lady Gaga. -sigh- Yeah, that really happened. BUT COME ON, SHE'S FABULOUS!
----------------
Now playing: Lady Gaga - Bad Romance
via FoxyTunes
11/29/09
Ah, the magic of dreams.
I dreamt of someone last night. It was a happy dream. Things were the way they used to be, but better. Our arguments were comfort. You made me happy, and somehow by just looking at me, I made you happy.
I miss the way things used to be.
I miss the way things used to be.
11/19/09
ITCHY THUMP.
I'm majorly frustrated. My leg is itchy as fuck inside this cast. I would like very much to cut the cast off myself, but as Billy points out, it would screw up the healing process. At SERIOUS itchy times, I often wonder how bad it would be if I cut off my whole leg. Nick says on a the bad scale of 1-10, it'd be an 11. Fuckin' eh. Then I remind myself that prosthetic legs take a while to get used to, and it'd only be MORE crutching, which I can't take. Nick also points out that it's hard to find a plastic leg attractive. As in, it doesn't happen. So the hacking off of my own leg isn't an option.
The writing that I mentioned last time has proven harder to actually do than originally expected. I know how I want it written, I just can't get it out that way. Which is annoying. Whatever. My brain was also probably mush, because before I embarked on the writing adventure, I played Sims3 for about 6 hours. Maybe less. Probably around 6 hours though.
No bueno.
~Ell Vee
The writing that I mentioned last time has proven harder to actually do than originally expected. I know how I want it written, I just can't get it out that way. Which is annoying. Whatever. My brain was also probably mush, because before I embarked on the writing adventure, I played Sims3 for about 6 hours. Maybe less. Probably around 6 hours though.
No bueno.
~Ell Vee
11/17/09
To whom it may concern...
Hey you,
Yes, you. I just wanted to let you know, starting tomorrow -- I'm using the shit that went down between us as a plot for a story I'm going to write. Because things like this only happen in books.
I'm convinced.
~Laur.
Yes, you. I just wanted to let you know, starting tomorrow -- I'm using the shit that went down between us as a plot for a story I'm going to write. Because things like this only happen in books.
I'm convinced.
~Laur.
11/13/09
Super Crazy Awesome BFF Sleepover
Mom's surgery went well. She's in ICU now, which is weird for me. Last time she was in recovery, she had a regular room. I guess this is all well and good though, because she's talking about a flat screen tv and single occupancy in her ICU room. It's probably better for her that way, because while she's got all those tubes and what-not in her, she doesn't have to deal with a roommate. I'm hoping to get to visit her tomorrow. I couldn't go today because of the weather... She didn't want me crutching around in the rain, slipping all over the place. I guess she's right, but I'd have felt a lot better if I could have seen her afterward. Looking at the weather, I'm probably not gonna get out tomorrow either. Which BLOWS. Oh well. She knows my situation. I'll get there when it's safe for me to get there.
Sam's staying with me for the week while Mom's in the hospital. Y'know, just making sure this cripple doesn't fuck herself up more while trying to get food or drink. It's like the SUPER CRAZY AWESOME BFF SLEEPOVER. Except Sam falls asleep UBER early so I'm like chillin here in my room watching Katt Williams stand-up, keeping myself entertained.
I can't wait for this effing cast to be gone, and to return to semi-normal life. (Semi-Normal because I'll be on restriction because Doc doesn't want me breaking the screws off in my leg before I have them surgically taken out.) Eh, anyway...
Farmville has taken over my life. Sam was about to pass out in bed before and I started screaming like a maniac because I got a wild turkey on my farm and was excited. I'm SO done with this house stuff. Lol... :)
Mm, more stand-up comedy...
Adieu,
Mademoiselle Lauren de la étrange
Sam's staying with me for the week while Mom's in the hospital. Y'know, just making sure this cripple doesn't fuck herself up more while trying to get food or drink. It's like the SUPER CRAZY AWESOME BFF SLEEPOVER. Except Sam falls asleep UBER early so I'm like chillin here in my room watching Katt Williams stand-up, keeping myself entertained.
I can't wait for this effing cast to be gone, and to return to semi-normal life. (Semi-Normal because I'll be on restriction because Doc doesn't want me breaking the screws off in my leg before I have them surgically taken out.) Eh, anyway...
Farmville has taken over my life. Sam was about to pass out in bed before and I started screaming like a maniac because I got a wild turkey on my farm and was excited. I'm SO done with this house stuff. Lol... :)
Mm, more stand-up comedy...
Adieu,
Mademoiselle Lauren de la étrange
11/12/09
Passive Agressive Bullshit.
Mom has her surgery tomorrow. They're getting rid of a polyp, and reversing the surgery she had done in July. Good news, she'll be able to go back to living a more normal life. But um... She made me her medical proxy, just in case something were to go wrong and render her unable, I have the right to make all her medical decisions. That bothers me.
A: Nothing should go wrong.
B: That's a lot of weight to put on someone.
C: I still feel like I'm a kid and I shouldn't be made to make these decisions. Even though I know I'm not a kid. I'm nothing near being a kid. But I am, in so many ways, just a kid.
Idk... I just feel strange knowing that paper even exists. It has me all kinds of nervous. Of course, that's probably due to my tendency to over-think and worry myself sick. Either way, I worry.
Oh, and now I'm on to listening to A Perfect Circle and Tool.
Awesome.
----------------
Now playing: A Perfect Circle - Passive (Explicit)
via FoxyTunes
A: Nothing should go wrong.
B: That's a lot of weight to put on someone.
C: I still feel like I'm a kid and I shouldn't be made to make these decisions. Even though I know I'm not a kid. I'm nothing near being a kid. But I am, in so many ways, just a kid.
Idk... I just feel strange knowing that paper even exists. It has me all kinds of nervous. Of course, that's probably due to my tendency to over-think and worry myself sick. Either way, I worry.
Oh, and now I'm on to listening to A Perfect Circle and Tool.
Awesome.
----------------
Now playing: A Perfect Circle - Passive (Explicit)
via FoxyTunes
11/9/09
I wanna open your door, love you until you're sore.
It'd be really nice if Smarties actually improved your brain function. Like if you ate them you'd become smarter. Or more proficient in at least ONE aspect of your life. That would make my eating them like a fiend actually worth it. Oh well, at least they're yummy.
Or... you know what? Fuck that, let Smarties remain useless and lets get our scientist friends started on the Brain Candy project. Though, I can't imagine a Brain Candy tasting THAT good. It'd definitely take some SERIOUS chemicals to get MY brain working right, just imagine the actual stupid people... Yeah... Maybe it's not such a good idea.
In other news, me and Lady Gaga have become new BFF.
Sad, I know.
-Laurasaur
----------------
Now playing: Devendra Banhart - Lover
via FoxyTunes
Or... you know what? Fuck that, let Smarties remain useless and lets get our scientist friends started on the Brain Candy project. Though, I can't imagine a Brain Candy tasting THAT good. It'd definitely take some SERIOUS chemicals to get MY brain working right, just imagine the actual stupid people... Yeah... Maybe it's not such a good idea.
In other news, me and Lady Gaga have become new BFF.
Sad, I know.
-Laurasaur
----------------
Now playing: Devendra Banhart - Lover
via FoxyTunes
11/1/09
Happy November
It's NaNoWriMo. I'm considering actually participating this year, since I'm detained and all.
In other news, I'm going crazy. I miss people. I've decided that when I get out of prison, I'm going to be more friendly. I'm gonna make more friends and just be more approachable in general. Also, in this time, I'm working on liking myself a little more.
I should be a new person when this is all over. Hopefully.
----------------
Now playing: We The Kings - Don't Speak Liar
via FoxyTunes
In other news, I'm going crazy. I miss people. I've decided that when I get out of prison, I'm going to be more friendly. I'm gonna make more friends and just be more approachable in general. Also, in this time, I'm working on liking myself a little more.
I should be a new person when this is all over. Hopefully.
----------------
Now playing: We The Kings - Don't Speak Liar
via FoxyTunes
10/24/09
One day til JAILBREAK.
As most of you probably don't know, I have been holed up in this house for seven days. (Tomorrow will make eight.) Add on to that the three days that I was in the hospital. That makes eleven days total, where I've been unallowed to breathe fresh air, unallowed to function independantly, basically unallowed to live. It has sucked MASSIVELY. This, of course, is not by my own choosing. It was a condition of my discharge from the hospital, that I refrain from leaving the house. Of course, after being in the hospital for three days, I'd have agreed to anything. Now I'm realizing what I signed up for. Holy monkey balls. This is really awful.
This past month has to be some sick form of karmic debt. I'm convinced. Heartbreak, a bought of Seasonal Affective Disorder, and this broken ankle. I'll allow that most of it is my own fault, with the exception of the S.A.D. but either way you look at it, the shit needs to stop. I'm going to MAKE it stop. I'm going to be an active participant in my own life. Fate is bullshit, and letting the chips fall where they may has gotten me nowhere. So here is where I take a stand, grab life by the balls, and make it my bitch. Without realizing it, I've let myself become what I hate: that person who just sits by and lets life shit all over them. Well, I'm not doing it anymore. Change is in the horizon.
And by 'in the horizon', I mean so close that I can taste it.
So, with that, I bid you adieu. Hopefully, next time I write here, I'll be a little closer to that happiness I so rabidly crave.
~ELL VEE!
This past month has to be some sick form of karmic debt. I'm convinced. Heartbreak, a bought of Seasonal Affective Disorder, and this broken ankle. I'll allow that most of it is my own fault, with the exception of the S.A.D. but either way you look at it, the shit needs to stop. I'm going to MAKE it stop. I'm going to be an active participant in my own life. Fate is bullshit, and letting the chips fall where they may has gotten me nowhere. So here is where I take a stand, grab life by the balls, and make it my bitch. Without realizing it, I've let myself become what I hate: that person who just sits by and lets life shit all over them. Well, I'm not doing it anymore. Change is in the horizon.
And by 'in the horizon', I mean so close that I can taste it.
So, with that, I bid you adieu. Hopefully, next time I write here, I'll be a little closer to that happiness I so rabidly crave.
~ELL VEE!
10/21/09
Just when you think things can't get any worse...
They do.
Oh... They do.
Soo... I broke my leg. Well, not leg. Ankle. I broke my ankle. In my dance class. At nassau. Yes, the required phys. ed credit that I was only taking because it's REQUIRED of me to graduate. THAT is where I broke my ankle. In dance class at Nassau. Sorry for the repetition, but I need to make sure you understand just how fucking STUPID this all is. This could have been avoided if I wasn't REQUIRED to take a gym credit for graduation. I wouldnt be holed up in my room for the past week, if Nassau Community College wasn't the only college that FORCES you to take a fucking physical education credit. So right now, I'm hating on Nassau. Hating on NCC, hard.
I could go into why shit sucks so much, but honestly, I don't have the energy.
I just hate this SO much.
Oh... They do.
Soo... I broke my leg. Well, not leg. Ankle. I broke my ankle. In my dance class. At nassau. Yes, the required phys. ed credit that I was only taking because it's REQUIRED of me to graduate. THAT is where I broke my ankle. In dance class at Nassau. Sorry for the repetition, but I need to make sure you understand just how fucking STUPID this all is. This could have been avoided if I wasn't REQUIRED to take a gym credit for graduation. I wouldnt be holed up in my room for the past week, if Nassau Community College wasn't the only college that FORCES you to take a fucking physical education credit. So right now, I'm hating on Nassau. Hating on NCC, hard.
I could go into why shit sucks so much, but honestly, I don't have the energy.
I just hate this SO much.
10/6/09
OH SHIT SON
Dear Life,
Fuck you. Hard.
I'm lonely and now I'm dying a slow, sore-throated death. Alone. What is the point of this? Are you trying to teach me some kind of lesson? Either way, you're a bitch and I'm gonna die like this.
Thanks for nothing.
Lauren
PS: I really hope I don't die.
Fuck you. Hard.
I'm lonely and now I'm dying a slow, sore-throated death. Alone. What is the point of this? Are you trying to teach me some kind of lesson? Either way, you're a bitch and I'm gonna die like this.
Thanks for nothing.
Lauren
PS: I really hope I don't die.
10/5/09
HOLY FUCK MAKE IT STOP
Dear Daylight Savings,
The shit has hit the fan, so I'm not sugarcoating anything here. I'm just gonna tell you flat out to BACK THE FUCK UP. And here's why.
This morning, I woke up and looked out my window, it was pitch black outside. 'Awesome!' I think to myself, and snuggle back into my pillows for some more sleep. Just then, the tell tale BEEP BEEP BEEP! of my alarm clock goes off, and my delusion of more sleep is ruined.
Stop teasing me with this idea of more sleep, unless you plan to deliver. If you don't, I'll be forced to find my way into the time/space continuum and kick your fucking ass.
Stop dicking around.
Thank you.
Sincerely,
Lauren
The shit has hit the fan, so I'm not sugarcoating anything here. I'm just gonna tell you flat out to BACK THE FUCK UP. And here's why.
This morning, I woke up and looked out my window, it was pitch black outside. 'Awesome!' I think to myself, and snuggle back into my pillows for some more sleep. Just then, the tell tale BEEP BEEP BEEP! of my alarm clock goes off, and my delusion of more sleep is ruined.
Stop teasing me with this idea of more sleep, unless you plan to deliver. If you don't, I'll be forced to find my way into the time/space continuum and kick your fucking ass.
Stop dicking around.
Thank you.
Sincerely,
Lauren
10/4/09
zeeb.
i got the baking supplies and the baking partner, and in an interesting twist of fate... the pet zebra. now, just gotta find a place to put the zeeeb.
...just kidding.
in other news, i'm still chewing this disgusting gum Mother gave me, and i've discovered that maybe it's the sad things that i've been thinking about that are causing me to be nauseous.
i'm on to something.
and another piece of gum.
apparently i like torturing my senses.
one day, they shall all leave me.
and i'll be senseless.
not much different than i am today, huh?
off to feed the zeeeeb.
~L!
...just kidding.
in other news, i'm still chewing this disgusting gum Mother gave me, and i've discovered that maybe it's the sad things that i've been thinking about that are causing me to be nauseous.
i'm on to something.
and another piece of gum.
apparently i like torturing my senses.
one day, they shall all leave me.
and i'll be senseless.
not much different than i am today, huh?
off to feed the zeeeeb.
~L!
10/3/09
want. want. want. want. want. want. want. want. want. want. want.
i want Ramune. you know, that stupid japanese Sprite wanna be. RAMUUUNE, come to meee!
i also want my room to become autonomous and self-cleaning. THAT would be something special.
i also would like a(n):
-rocketship
-new face. (imeanrly.)
-bodytoo?
-seasons 2,4 & 5 of Grey's Anatomy on DVD.
-season 2 of gossip girl
-baking supplies to miraculously and suspiciously arrive at my door.
-baking partner; to make sure i don't blow my house up or kill anyone.
-copious supply of monies.
-the 2010 Shelby Mustang 500 GT.
-personal movie theater, like the ones they have on cribs.
-swimming pool.
-pocket pikachu.
-pet zebra.
-private helicopter.
-mansion (to store all this crap).
-Ethan.
as the list went on it got more and more ridiculous.
i'm a crazy person, i know.
this gum mom gave me is making me nauseous. layered gum? pineapple and green apple? my two favorite fruit flavors are betraying me as we speak. i wanna puke.
au revoir.
~Laur
i also want my room to become autonomous and self-cleaning. THAT would be something special.
i also would like a(n):
-rocketship
-new face. (imeanrly.)
-bodytoo?
-seasons 2,4 & 5 of Grey's Anatomy on DVD.
-season 2 of gossip girl
-baking supplies to miraculously and suspiciously arrive at my door.
-baking partner; to make sure i don't blow my house up or kill anyone.
-copious supply of monies.
-the 2010 Shelby Mustang 500 GT.
-personal movie theater, like the ones they have on cribs.
-swimming pool.
-pocket pikachu.
-pet zebra.
-private helicopter.
-mansion (to store all this crap).
-Ethan.
as the list went on it got more and more ridiculous.
i'm a crazy person, i know.
this gum mom gave me is making me nauseous. layered gum? pineapple and green apple? my two favorite fruit flavors are betraying me as we speak. i wanna puke.
au revoir.
~Laur
9/28/09
4 days...
...and i won't have to compete for attention.
...and i won't have to wonder about stuff.
...and i won't feel so shitty all the time because i'll be reassured.
...and things will get better.
...or will they?
what i'm trying to say is, i'm insecure.
reassurance is always nice.
it's nice to know you're loved.
but being TOLD that you're loved is something else entirely.
it's the best.
okay, im done.
sorry for the 2 in a day.
i promise you, i'm not crazy.
~L!
...and i won't have to wonder about stuff.
...and i won't feel so shitty all the time because i'll be reassured.
...and things will get better.
...or will they?
what i'm trying to say is, i'm insecure.
reassurance is always nice.
it's nice to know you're loved.
but being TOLD that you're loved is something else entirely.
it's the best.
okay, im done.
sorry for the 2 in a day.
i promise you, i'm not crazy.
~L!
New Direction
i had an epiphany the other day. it was pretty big. make sure you're sitting, and holding onto something. but... I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT I WANT TO DO WITH MY LIFE. hahaha. i know, right? you're either not surprised at all, or completely shitting yourself with shock. but yeah, i have no clue what i want to do. i'm going on 3 years of college with NO direction. wasting SO much money because i'm indecisive. i just don't want to pick something random and end up hating my life because of it... you know?
i like art, but i know i'm not good enough to make a career out of it.
i like kids, but i'm not patient enough to deal with kids in a classroom setting.
i like the idea of being a doctor, but not the idea of the amount of schooling, and the expense.
i like the idea of being a sign language interpreter, but the training required also requires having a job with flexible hours, which i don't have and probably won't ever have.
what i'm thinking now is JOURNALISM. writing.
obviously, being one of the few people my age who still keeps an effing blog, it's apparent that i LIKE writing. i keep a journal book that i constantly write in. i've always done well in english classes. and when i'm actually TRYING, i'm pretty damn good at writing. so idk, it's something to try out. i could write for a magazine. or a news paper. probably a magazine though... i'm not politically correct enough for a newspaper.... UNLESS I WAS A COLUMNIST. HAHA. That would be wild.
but yeah. idk. i never know. which is sad. but maybe all this trying stuff out will be worth something when i finally find that perfect profession. then i'll be happy. and hopefully making good money. DOUBLE HAPPY! and yeah. we'll see about this Journalism stuff.
i have to pee.
later.
~L.
----------------
Now playing: Harvey Danger - Flagpole Sitta
via FoxyTunes
i like art, but i know i'm not good enough to make a career out of it.
i like kids, but i'm not patient enough to deal with kids in a classroom setting.
i like the idea of being a doctor, but not the idea of the amount of schooling, and the expense.
i like the idea of being a sign language interpreter, but the training required also requires having a job with flexible hours, which i don't have and probably won't ever have.
what i'm thinking now is JOURNALISM. writing.
obviously, being one of the few people my age who still keeps an effing blog, it's apparent that i LIKE writing. i keep a journal book that i constantly write in. i've always done well in english classes. and when i'm actually TRYING, i'm pretty damn good at writing. so idk, it's something to try out. i could write for a magazine. or a news paper. probably a magazine though... i'm not politically correct enough for a newspaper.... UNLESS I WAS A COLUMNIST. HAHA. That would be wild.
but yeah. idk. i never know. which is sad. but maybe all this trying stuff out will be worth something when i finally find that perfect profession. then i'll be happy. and hopefully making good money. DOUBLE HAPPY! and yeah. we'll see about this Journalism stuff.
i have to pee.
later.
~L.
----------------
Now playing: Harvey Danger - Flagpole Sitta
via FoxyTunes
9/6/09
Visit To VMI
Finally got to see Anthony!!
On saturday we (myself, Kristen, and Michelle - Ant's mom) woke up at about 5 am, and were on the road to VMI by 6 am. We made really good time getting there by a little after 1. We got there in time to see the VMI vs. RMU football game, and were looking for Anthony the whole first half of the game. No luck. During half time we went to get drinks or something, and as we're coming down the stands I spotted Anthony and started freaking out a little. HE LOOKS SO GOOD. He hasn't changed MUCH physically, but you could see a difference in his attitude and in the way he holds himself. It made me proud to be his friend. After half time, he was allowed to sit with us. We got all the silly stories and the horror stories. After the game (VMI wins 14-13) we had to go with Michelle to sign Anthony out so he could have dinner with us. We had to walk up the stairs and up these HUGE hills and I thought I was going to DIE. I'm out of shape, obvs. But anyway. After we signed him out, we went to the hotel we were staying at and just chilled. Then we went to dinner with his friend Eric and his family, at this really nice Southern Comfort kinda restaurant. It was maaad good. After that, we just drove around Lexington and checked out the town. Soon after, we dropped him off at the barracks and went back to the hotel.
I passed out soooooo fast. I called mom, and then put my head down for a second and passed out. I had the nuttiest dream though. I was being screamed at by the Cadre at VMI while Anthony, Mikey (yeahright), and Dillon (LOL NO WAI) were standing against a wall straining, watching me get chewed out by the cadre dudes. It was so scary.
Anyway. I'm in the car on my way to New Market (the battle ground) to see the rats do some sort of run down a hill and then get their little arm bandy things, and march in the parade. Should be a good time.
On saturday we (myself, Kristen, and Michelle - Ant's mom) woke up at about 5 am, and were on the road to VMI by 6 am. We made really good time getting there by a little after 1. We got there in time to see the VMI vs. RMU football game, and were looking for Anthony the whole first half of the game. No luck. During half time we went to get drinks or something, and as we're coming down the stands I spotted Anthony and started freaking out a little. HE LOOKS SO GOOD. He hasn't changed MUCH physically, but you could see a difference in his attitude and in the way he holds himself. It made me proud to be his friend. After half time, he was allowed to sit with us. We got all the silly stories and the horror stories. After the game (VMI wins 14-13) we had to go with Michelle to sign Anthony out so he could have dinner with us. We had to walk up the stairs and up these HUGE hills and I thought I was going to DIE. I'm out of shape, obvs. But anyway. After we signed him out, we went to the hotel we were staying at and just chilled. Then we went to dinner with his friend Eric and his family, at this really nice Southern Comfort kinda restaurant. It was maaad good. After that, we just drove around Lexington and checked out the town. Soon after, we dropped him off at the barracks and went back to the hotel.
I passed out soooooo fast. I called mom, and then put my head down for a second and passed out. I had the nuttiest dream though. I was being screamed at by the Cadre at VMI while Anthony, Mikey (yeahright), and Dillon (LOL NO WAI) were standing against a wall straining, watching me get chewed out by the cadre dudes. It was so scary.
Anyway. I'm in the car on my way to New Market (the battle ground) to see the rats do some sort of run down a hill and then get their little arm bandy things, and march in the parade. Should be a good time.
9/2/09
Go SUCK a fuck.
"Oh, please, tell me Lauren Elizabeth, how exactly does one suck a fuck?"
I found my old journal that I stopped writing in sometime after Xxxx broke up with me. I decided to read through it today, and reading it made me angry. SO fucking angry, in fact, that I'm gonna put this shit on BLAST.
January 11, 2009
Sometimes I feel like Xxxx is shrugging me off. He calls earlier and earlier than he used to, and we barely talk. I feel like he doesn't like talking to me. Like he'd rather just not be bothered. Like, he says 'i love you' just to shut me up. I'm not feeling good about anything today. Maybe it's just cause I miss him...?
He broke up with me in February, like 2 days or someshit before Valentine's Day. For two days, I couldn't eat, sleep, or think properly. I was physically SICK, throwing up and feeling constantly nauseated. I had headaches from stress and probably from over thinking what the fuck went wrong. And I spent a LONG time after we broke up, trying to figure out what the fuck I did wrong. We talked for a while after everything went to shit. Long, painfully awkward conversations. And then eventually, all communication died down.
Then sometime in August, after not talking for months; he calls me up to make amends. In one night, he spills out all the wrongs. All his, I might add. And I'm not going to go into detail about what was said, but basically some fucking defect in him ruined what we had. Add to that the lying that went on about him smoking pot... Well, we were doomed. Of course, being who I am, I accepted the apology and told him it would take time, but he could be a part of my life eventually.
So here's what pissed me off. I spent months trying to figure out what the FUCK was wrong with me, when all along it was some internal conflict going on in his head that fucked up our relationship, my trust in him, my trust in guys in general, and most importantly, how I felt about myself.
We haven't stayed in contact since the apology, for whatever reason. And to be completely honest, I could give a fuck less. In all the months that have passed since my heart was ripped out of my chest and stepped on... I've done a LOT of learning about myself, how I deal with things, and life in general. And what I've come to realize is that someone who's hurt me THAT badly in the past has NO business being a part of my future. In any respect.
So I'm going to dole out one last apology, even though personally, I don't think it's well deserved. If you should end up reading this, which part of me hopes you will, this is how I felt when you were doing whatever it was you were doing, with whomever it was you were doing it with. And I'm sorry about a lot of things. I'm sorry I didn't bring it to your attention sooner that I could sense the change in you. I'm sorry I didn't confront you when you were blatantly and obviously lying to me about your drug habits. I'm sorry I wrote this in a blog, instead of just saying it directly to you... But you of all people should know what it's like to not tell someone how you REALLY feel. What I'm the most sorry about... is the fact that I let this go on for so long. Knowing what I knew, and feeling what I felt... I should've just said something earlier. Done something for myself, instead of waiting for you to do it for me. I wouldn't trade the time I spent with you for the world, but I've traveled so far in such a short time, I'll never be able to see it the same way again.
I've spoken my peace.
----------------
Now playing: VersaEmerge - Clocks
via FoxyTunes
I found my old journal that I stopped writing in sometime after Xxxx broke up with me. I decided to read through it today, and reading it made me angry. SO fucking angry, in fact, that I'm gonna put this shit on BLAST.
January 11, 2009
Sometimes I feel like Xxxx is shrugging me off. He calls earlier and earlier than he used to, and we barely talk. I feel like he doesn't like talking to me. Like he'd rather just not be bothered. Like, he says 'i love you' just to shut me up. I'm not feeling good about anything today. Maybe it's just cause I miss him...?
He broke up with me in February, like 2 days or someshit before Valentine's Day. For two days, I couldn't eat, sleep, or think properly. I was physically SICK, throwing up and feeling constantly nauseated. I had headaches from stress and probably from over thinking what the fuck went wrong. And I spent a LONG time after we broke up, trying to figure out what the fuck I did wrong. We talked for a while after everything went to shit. Long, painfully awkward conversations. And then eventually, all communication died down.
Then sometime in August, after not talking for months; he calls me up to make amends. In one night, he spills out all the wrongs. All his, I might add. And I'm not going to go into detail about what was said, but basically some fucking defect in him ruined what we had. Add to that the lying that went on about him smoking pot... Well, we were doomed. Of course, being who I am, I accepted the apology and told him it would take time, but he could be a part of my life eventually.
So here's what pissed me off. I spent months trying to figure out what the FUCK was wrong with me, when all along it was some internal conflict going on in his head that fucked up our relationship, my trust in him, my trust in guys in general, and most importantly, how I felt about myself.
We haven't stayed in contact since the apology, for whatever reason. And to be completely honest, I could give a fuck less. In all the months that have passed since my heart was ripped out of my chest and stepped on... I've done a LOT of learning about myself, how I deal with things, and life in general. And what I've come to realize is that someone who's hurt me THAT badly in the past has NO business being a part of my future. In any respect.
So I'm going to dole out one last apology, even though personally, I don't think it's well deserved. If you should end up reading this, which part of me hopes you will, this is how I felt when you were doing whatever it was you were doing, with whomever it was you were doing it with. And I'm sorry about a lot of things. I'm sorry I didn't bring it to your attention sooner that I could sense the change in you. I'm sorry I didn't confront you when you were blatantly and obviously lying to me about your drug habits. I'm sorry I wrote this in a blog, instead of just saying it directly to you... But you of all people should know what it's like to not tell someone how you REALLY feel. What I'm the most sorry about... is the fact that I let this go on for so long. Knowing what I knew, and feeling what I felt... I should've just said something earlier. Done something for myself, instead of waiting for you to do it for me. I wouldn't trade the time I spent with you for the world, but I've traveled so far in such a short time, I'll never be able to see it the same way again.
I've spoken my peace.
----------------
Now playing: VersaEmerge - Clocks
via FoxyTunes
8/26/09
But she wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts... She's the cheer captain and I'm on the bleechers.
-sings- Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find, what you've been waiting for has been here the whole time... If you could see that I'm the one that understands you. Been here all along... So why can't you see that you belong with me... You belong with me.
Err... No, I wasn't just singing Taylor Swift lyrics... Fuck.. Okay, I was. This is one of 2 guilty pleasure songs I'm really digging at the moment. "You Belong With Me" by Taylor Swift, and... Ugh. It's embarrassing to write. "Party In The USA" by Miley Cyrus. FUCK MY LIFE. WHYYY AM I SO INTO THESE SONGS?! What sucks is that I can kinda apply the Taylor Swift song to my own life. Ugh. So gross right? Unrequited love sucks. LOL. And aside from my patheticness... Idk... They're so... singable. I can't explain it. I just... can't... help myself...
-sings- So I put my hands up... They’re playing my song, and the butterflies fly away. Noddin’ my head like yea... Movin' my hips like yea... I got my hands--
Dude, was I just singing Miley lyrics?!
STOP THE MADNESS!!!!
So, in other news... I had a very nice heart to heart with Kristen tonight. It's been a while since we've been able to just sit and spill whats being going on in our heads like... all summer. It's decided that we miss Anthony a lot more than we thought we would. And this whole not talking to him thing is making the separation a little harder than it would be if he were at a normal college. We also talked about relationships and lies and friendships that don't survive. It was comforting, because in having this conversation I realized that she's one of my best friends ever. I needed someone like her in my life. We compliment each other well. :)
Idk, I felt like I'd have more to blog about.
I could go on about pointlessness, but I think I'm gonna stop this here, before I start to REALLY ramble. You DON'T want that to happen... :)
-sings- So I put my hands up, they’re playing my song and the butterflies fly away. Noddin’ my head like yea, movin' my hips like yea... I got my hands up, they’re playin' my song... I know I'm gonna be ok. Yea, It's a party in the USA... Yea, It's a party in the USA.
Peace out, blogstalkers. ;)
<3Laur
Err... No, I wasn't just singing Taylor Swift lyrics... Fuck.. Okay, I was. This is one of 2 guilty pleasure songs I'm really digging at the moment. "You Belong With Me" by Taylor Swift, and... Ugh. It's embarrassing to write. "Party In The USA" by Miley Cyrus. FUCK MY LIFE. WHYYY AM I SO INTO THESE SONGS?! What sucks is that I can kinda apply the Taylor Swift song to my own life. Ugh. So gross right? Unrequited love sucks. LOL. And aside from my patheticness... Idk... They're so... singable. I can't explain it. I just... can't... help myself...
-sings- So I put my hands up... They’re playing my song, and the butterflies fly away. Noddin’ my head like yea... Movin' my hips like yea... I got my hands--
Dude, was I just singing Miley lyrics?!
STOP THE MADNESS!!!!
So, in other news... I had a very nice heart to heart with Kristen tonight. It's been a while since we've been able to just sit and spill whats being going on in our heads like... all summer. It's decided that we miss Anthony a lot more than we thought we would. And this whole not talking to him thing is making the separation a little harder than it would be if he were at a normal college. We also talked about relationships and lies and friendships that don't survive. It was comforting, because in having this conversation I realized that she's one of my best friends ever. I needed someone like her in my life. We compliment each other well. :)
Idk, I felt like I'd have more to blog about.
I could go on about pointlessness, but I think I'm gonna stop this here, before I start to REALLY ramble. You DON'T want that to happen... :)
-sings- So I put my hands up, they’re playing my song and the butterflies fly away. Noddin’ my head like yea, movin' my hips like yea... I got my hands up, they’re playin' my song... I know I'm gonna be ok. Yea, It's a party in the USA... Yea, It's a party in the USA.
Peace out, blogstalkers. ;)
<3Laur
8/23/09
RAYMAN NEW-DELLZ.
It's been a while and I have a lot on mind, so I thought I'd blog a bit before I went nuts from over-thinking, re-thinking, and over-thinking some more.
Last time I bloggededed I wrote that the boys were leaving for college soon. Well... They're gone. Anthony is officially a Rat at VMI, Dillon's chilling with a bunch of REALLY smart people over at Case who apparently LAIR (like in Role Models), and Mikey... well, to be honest, idk what the fuck Mikey's doing. So they're gone and Kristen & Chris are in fucking Lake George for the weekend. Amanda, Andrew, David, and Tara were in Jersey all week. And Pat and Cait went to Hershey for the weekend. Basically ALL my friends are gone. That is, except for Sammi. We've been indulging in long winded shopping trips and RED MANGO (which is my new obsession), and laughing at asshole drivers. It's been a blastie. But I've been spending more time at home than I'd like to be doing. I hate being alone. I hate not having anyone to do stuff with. I miss my friends.... My ridiculous, crazy, inappropriate at times, funny as fuck, REALLY INAPPROPRIATE, no holds barred, amazingly wonderful friends. -le sigh-
But hey! In September (the 5th to be exact) I'm driving down to VA with Kristen and Anthony's mom, to go visit Anthony at VMI. It's the parents weekend, and apparently we're allowed to come hang out with him for the day and have lunch/dinner with him. It's strange how much I miss Anthony. I mean, I miss him, duh. And I know why. I'm used to seeing him every effing day... He, Kristen and I did basically everything we could together. Aaaand now I havent spoken to him in what feels like days, even though it's only been like... 2. I just hope that VMI doesn't change him or anything. Cause that would suck... Majorly.
I've been getting into some seriously suspect music. Lots of electronic stuff. Or, rather, poppy stuff with electronic sensibilities. Bands such as: Owl City, Swimming With Dolphins (the Owl City side project), Metro Station (but not rly), Blood On The Dance Floor, Breathe Carolina, MILLIONAIRES (even though I kinda hate them), LMFAO, Brokencyde, Cash Cash, Kill Paradise... stuff like that. I IMPLORE YOU TO CHECK THIS STUFF OUT. I even went through the trouble of linking all this shit. SO DO IT. I mean, yeah... Some of it is kinda trashhhhhy... But Owl City and Swimming With Dolphins is pretty legit. OH, and PLEASE check out this Justin Beiber kid. He's like... what? Twelve. And he's got one of the cutest (yet heartfelt and danceable) songs I've heard in a LONG time. And like, you kinda can, but CAN'T tell that he's like... three years old and singing about love. Idk, can't explain it! You gotta listen to it.
OH BY THE WAY. I found a new youtuber to get all crazy over. Destery of DesandNate. Well, I mean Nate is way cute too. I like the way he kinda has a lopsided smile, and talks outta the corner of his mouth. Ez cute. :) Buuuut DESTERY... omg. I feel like I know this kid. He makes weird noises like I do. Like the weird/annoying raptor noise I make... he makes. I think he does it better too, but omfg. Haha. He's funny. I have a weird youtube crush on him. Apparently they're old hat though. Everyone knows about them and theres like MAD weird chicks who make tribute videos and shit about them. I mean, they're funny and cute and what not, but they're also people.... just like you and me. Two very cute people. Um.... YEAH. Off topic much? I liked you to their page so you could check them out. But seriously. I wanna be their bff. If they weren't bff with eachother already. I guess. ...Yeah. -awkward turtle- Anyhoo, for some laughs, check out the vids IDEK 7: Christmas Boners and IDEK (Who Took The Cookie: A Word With Nathan 2). Good shit. Much better than Fred. I promise.
I think this is as much blog as I can stand for now.
But there goes my mind... thinking and shit as usual... what the fuck.
God DAMN it.
Time to watch another movie.
Later foo's.
----------------
Now playing: Justin Beiber - One Time
via FoxyTunes
Last time I bloggededed I wrote that the boys were leaving for college soon. Well... They're gone. Anthony is officially a Rat at VMI, Dillon's chilling with a bunch of REALLY smart people over at Case who apparently LAIR (like in Role Models), and Mikey... well, to be honest, idk what the fuck Mikey's doing. So they're gone and Kristen & Chris are in fucking Lake George for the weekend. Amanda, Andrew, David, and Tara were in Jersey all week. And Pat and Cait went to Hershey for the weekend. Basically ALL my friends are gone. That is, except for Sammi. We've been indulging in long winded shopping trips and RED MANGO (which is my new obsession), and laughing at asshole drivers. It's been a blastie. But I've been spending more time at home than I'd like to be doing. I hate being alone. I hate not having anyone to do stuff with. I miss my friends.... My ridiculous, crazy, inappropriate at times, funny as fuck, REALLY INAPPROPRIATE, no holds barred, amazingly wonderful friends. -le sigh-
But hey! In September (the 5th to be exact) I'm driving down to VA with Kristen and Anthony's mom, to go visit Anthony at VMI. It's the parents weekend, and apparently we're allowed to come hang out with him for the day and have lunch/dinner with him. It's strange how much I miss Anthony. I mean, I miss him, duh. And I know why. I'm used to seeing him every effing day... He, Kristen and I did basically everything we could together. Aaaand now I havent spoken to him in what feels like days, even though it's only been like... 2. I just hope that VMI doesn't change him or anything. Cause that would suck... Majorly.
I've been getting into some seriously suspect music. Lots of electronic stuff. Or, rather, poppy stuff with electronic sensibilities. Bands such as: Owl City, Swimming With Dolphins (the Owl City side project), Metro Station (but not rly), Blood On The Dance Floor, Breathe Carolina, MILLIONAIRES (even though I kinda hate them), LMFAO, Brokencyde, Cash Cash, Kill Paradise... stuff like that. I IMPLORE YOU TO CHECK THIS STUFF OUT. I even went through the trouble of linking all this shit. SO DO IT. I mean, yeah... Some of it is kinda trashhhhhy... But Owl City and Swimming With Dolphins is pretty legit. OH, and PLEASE check out this Justin Beiber kid. He's like... what? Twelve. And he's got one of the cutest (yet heartfelt and danceable) songs I've heard in a LONG time. And like, you kinda can, but CAN'T tell that he's like... three years old and singing about love. Idk, can't explain it! You gotta listen to it.
OH BY THE WAY. I found a new youtuber to get all crazy over. Destery of DesandNate. Well, I mean Nate is way cute too. I like the way he kinda has a lopsided smile, and talks outta the corner of his mouth. Ez cute. :) Buuuut DESTERY... omg. I feel like I know this kid. He makes weird noises like I do. Like the weird/annoying raptor noise I make... he makes. I think he does it better too, but omfg. Haha. He's funny. I have a weird youtube crush on him. Apparently they're old hat though. Everyone knows about them and theres like MAD weird chicks who make tribute videos and shit about them. I mean, they're funny and cute and what not, but they're also people.... just like you and me. Two very cute people. Um.... YEAH. Off topic much? I liked you to their page so you could check them out. But seriously. I wanna be their bff. If they weren't bff with eachother already. I guess. ...Yeah. -awkward turtle- Anyhoo, for some laughs, check out the vids IDEK 7: Christmas Boners and IDEK (Who Took The Cookie: A Word With Nathan 2). Good shit. Much better than Fred. I promise.
I think this is as much blog as I can stand for now.
But there goes my mind... thinking and shit as usual... what the fuck.
God DAMN it.
Time to watch another movie.
Later foo's.
----------------
Now playing: Justin Beiber - One Time
via FoxyTunes
8/11/09
I'm just like me... So who the hell are you?
This summer is FLYING by so quickly. It's kinda scary. We're already in August, and all my boys are leaving for school next week. Where's my social life gonna go?! And where are Kristen and I gonna go when we're bitching about boys? I mean, it's not like my opinion counts for shit, but I'm SO not thrilled about them leaving. A good amount of my GOOD friends are gonna be GOOOOONE. And not just like... 2 hours away. Or 4 hours away. MAD FAR. (Lauren isn't happy.) That being said... I'm trying to make the most out of the week I've got left with my boys.
-le sigh-
I have a lot on my mind, and nothing I can write here.
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Now playing: Envy On The Coast - Starving Your Friends
via FoxyTunes
-le sigh-
I have a lot on my mind, and nothing I can write here.
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Now playing: Envy On The Coast - Starving Your Friends
via FoxyTunes
8/3/09
I want you to want me...
Probably the most honest way of saying what you're always thinking. In love or not. All we want is to be wanted, to be loved, and to give our love. Whether it's easy for you to admit or not, that's the way it goes.
7/31/09
things to consider...
one day im gonna stop being such a fucking coward and say what really needs to be said. ...one day. hopefully. who knows though.
also, i'll be more like Kat Dennings; who happens to be infinitely more awesome than i am.
fried oreos should be considered a holy meal.
going to see lil' wayne, drake, soulja boy, young jeezy, and jeremih on saturday. IT SHALL BE EPIC.
okai, bai. <3
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Now playing: Aaliyah ft DMX - Come Back In One Piece
via FoxyTunes
also, i'll be more like Kat Dennings; who happens to be infinitely more awesome than i am.
fried oreos should be considered a holy meal.
going to see lil' wayne, drake, soulja boy, young jeezy, and jeremih on saturday. IT SHALL BE EPIC.
okai, bai. <3
----------------
Now playing: Aaliyah ft DMX - Come Back In One Piece
via FoxyTunes
7/26/09
I'm gonna smile and not get worried. I try, but it shows.
It's like missing the bus by a minute, and having to wait what feels like forever for the next one to come.
It's like buying someone the birthday present they've always wanted, just to find out someone gave it to them before you did.
It's like being passed up for the promotion you know you deserve, and having to watch someone half as able as you get the job you dream of having.
...and not being able to say anything about it.
No. It's not like any of that at all.
----------------
Now playing: Jimmy Eat World - Pain
via FoxyTunes
It's like buying someone the birthday present they've always wanted, just to find out someone gave it to them before you did.
It's like being passed up for the promotion you know you deserve, and having to watch someone half as able as you get the job you dream of having.
...and not being able to say anything about it.
No. It's not like any of that at all.
----------------
Now playing: Jimmy Eat World - Pain
via FoxyTunes
7/11/09
Ask me why I'm awake at 3am. Go on, ask!!
i woke up for the sole reason that i was absolutely parched, and thought i might die if i didn't drink something. i walk into the kitchen and that's when i notice the annoying hum thats coming from outside. i look outside my back sliding door -- and there it is. helicopter hovering in the sky, search light on and in motion. my heart basically stops.
this is strangely reminiscent of 3 summers ago when they were looking for the creep with the severed head in his trunk.
if it's not a serious matter -- this helicopter hovering over my house is gonna get a rock tossed at it. though im like 99.999999% sure they're looking for someone in it, and i'm telling you -- if it turns out like it did 3 summers ago when they were looking for the guy who murdered someone FOUR BLOCKS AWAY FROM MY HOUSE -- we're gonna have some MAJOR issues. i'll be taking my car and relocating to somewhere I'd feel safer. Like Mississippi or Massachussetts.
...mark my fucking words.
as for now, i'm barricading myself in my room with my ipod on, so i can concentrate on beyonce and her huge ego -- as opposed to thinking about the fact that there might be a psychotic killer running through the streets of glen cove, somehow evading the shmuck piloting the helicopter with the huge fucking light on it.
god damn it.
this is strangely reminiscent of 3 summers ago when they were looking for the creep with the severed head in his trunk.
if it's not a serious matter -- this helicopter hovering over my house is gonna get a rock tossed at it. though im like 99.999999% sure they're looking for someone in it, and i'm telling you -- if it turns out like it did 3 summers ago when they were looking for the guy who murdered someone FOUR BLOCKS AWAY FROM MY HOUSE -- we're gonna have some MAJOR issues. i'll be taking my car and relocating to somewhere I'd feel safer. Like Mississippi or Massachussetts.
...mark my fucking words.
as for now, i'm barricading myself in my room with my ipod on, so i can concentrate on beyonce and her huge ego -- as opposed to thinking about the fact that there might be a psychotic killer running through the streets of glen cove, somehow evading the shmuck piloting the helicopter with the huge fucking light on it.
god damn it.
7/7/09
Whispers In The Dark
In response to my previous post, Seattle finally made amends with Climate. I'm now FINALLY enjoying my summer. :) Well... I would be if it weren't for certain things...
I'm too stressed to go into detail now, but Mom's in the hospital and I am being put through the ringer by my campers this summer.
Maybe I'll post tomorrow in more detail. Right now though, I'm gonna go lay down and relax. This summer is fucking tough. It sucks. D:
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Now playing: Skillet - Whispers In The Dark
via FoxyTunes
I'm too stressed to go into detail now, but Mom's in the hospital and I am being put through the ringer by my campers this summer.
Maybe I'll post tomorrow in more detail. Right now though, I'm gonna go lay down and relax. This summer is fucking tough. It sucks. D:
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Now playing: Skillet - Whispers In The Dark
via FoxyTunes
6/23/09
It's with the deepest regrets that I must inform you...
Dearest Seattle,
Once upon a time, I dreamt of uprooting my life, ditching the Long Island scene, and running away to live the Seattle life. Ferry boats, the needle, coffee shops, grunge... and the near constant rain. But I'd be happy even though it rained because I'd be close to the motherland of my true idol, Kurt. (You guys are real tight, remember?) I'd hide out from the rain in coffee shops when I wasn't otherwise indisposed with either my schooling or my adventures into the beautiful mountainous forests, and I'd enjoy the life I had made for myself. Then, something went terribly wrong.
Perhaps you knew of my plans, and became impatient for my time with you, and sent your wife, Climate towards New York to try and lure me in. Or perhaps it was something different altogether. Perhaps, you and the Climate had a bad marital spat -- and the Climate, seeking solace, came to New York for a new life, and now, you're sitting -- no, wallowing in regret because your Climate is having an affair with another landscape. Your forests are going un-bathed, your peoples attitudes towards life are dramatically shifting, and there's something missing...
I'll be quite frank with you, on her little 'mental vacation', Climate is causing problems. What she doesn't realize is that her harsh persona isn't charming to New Yorkers. Rather, she's come in like a bat from the fiery pits of hell, is and is messing with the wrong batch of people. We don't get depressed, like the folks back in Seattle... We get angry.
Anyway, the point of me writing, my dearest Seattle? I IMPLORE YOU -- whatever the reason for her picking up and moving -- YOU MUST FIX IT. For your sake and hers as well. I'm merely the messenger. OH! And while we're on the subject of myself -- I'd just like to inform you, that I want nothing to do with you, and I will NOT be relocating any time soon. It was sweet while it lasted, and you still have Kurt -- just don't contact me any longer. It won't look good on your record.
My deepest and most sincere regrets,
Lauren Elizabeth
Once upon a time, I dreamt of uprooting my life, ditching the Long Island scene, and running away to live the Seattle life. Ferry boats, the needle, coffee shops, grunge... and the near constant rain. But I'd be happy even though it rained because I'd be close to the motherland of my true idol, Kurt. (You guys are real tight, remember?) I'd hide out from the rain in coffee shops when I wasn't otherwise indisposed with either my schooling or my adventures into the beautiful mountainous forests, and I'd enjoy the life I had made for myself. Then, something went terribly wrong.
Perhaps you knew of my plans, and became impatient for my time with you, and sent your wife, Climate towards New York to try and lure me in. Or perhaps it was something different altogether. Perhaps, you and the Climate had a bad marital spat -- and the Climate, seeking solace, came to New York for a new life, and now, you're sitting -- no, wallowing in regret because your Climate is having an affair with another landscape. Your forests are going un-bathed, your peoples attitudes towards life are dramatically shifting, and there's something missing...
I'll be quite frank with you, on her little 'mental vacation', Climate is causing problems. What she doesn't realize is that her harsh persona isn't charming to New Yorkers. Rather, she's come in like a bat from the fiery pits of hell, is and is messing with the wrong batch of people. We don't get depressed, like the folks back in Seattle... We get angry.
Anyway, the point of me writing, my dearest Seattle? I IMPLORE YOU -- whatever the reason for her picking up and moving -- YOU MUST FIX IT. For your sake and hers as well. I'm merely the messenger. OH! And while we're on the subject of myself -- I'd just like to inform you, that I want nothing to do with you, and I will NOT be relocating any time soon. It was sweet while it lasted, and you still have Kurt -- just don't contact me any longer. It won't look good on your record.
My deepest and most sincere regrets,
Lauren Elizabeth
Sappy idiot.
No matter who you are, what you've done, where you are, and what you think -- there's always going to be someone who loves and cares for you unconditionally. No matter what you do currently to make those people upset, annoyed, or skeptical about you -- they'll always love you and always be there for you. Time and distance aren't factors in how much you love someone... and for that, we should all be grateful.
That being said, I'm happy lately. It's nice to know that no matter how many people come in and out of your life, there are always going to be the few who remain true to you, and there for you -- no matter what.
I love you all.
-Lauren.
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Now playing: Other Lives - Black Tables
via FoxyTunes
That being said, I'm happy lately. It's nice to know that no matter how many people come in and out of your life, there are always going to be the few who remain true to you, and there for you -- no matter what.
I love you all.
-Lauren.
----------------
Now playing: Other Lives - Black Tables
via FoxyTunes
6/22/09
Midnight, Meshuggah and My Meandering Mind.
Alliteration aside, I think I need help.
Sleep help, mainly. I'm having more and more trouble getting to sleep, and staying asleep. D:
I also need help with addressing my various issues with certain people and things.
Oh, and I certainly require help with my Kat Dennings weird-obsession thing. To be honest, it doesn't go much further than me wanting to be her best friend. But yeah. Enough of that.
PS: Listening to Meshuggah more and more lately. I'm enjoying it. It offends Mom, and I enjoy it a little more because of that. I like stuff that makes people raise their eyebrows. It's who I am.
Also, I need to stop drawing weird shit.
Well. That I think I can deal with.
BOB SAGET!!!
Love, Lauren. :)
Sleep help, mainly. I'm having more and more trouble getting to sleep, and staying asleep. D:
I also need help with addressing my various issues with certain people and things.
Oh, and I certainly require help with my Kat Dennings weird-obsession thing. To be honest, it doesn't go much further than me wanting to be her best friend. But yeah. Enough of that.
PS: Listening to Meshuggah more and more lately. I'm enjoying it. It offends Mom, and I enjoy it a little more because of that. I like stuff that makes people raise their eyebrows. It's who I am.
Also, I need to stop drawing weird shit.
Well. That I think I can deal with.
BOB SAGET!!!
Love, Lauren. :)
6/20/09
The sad part is...
I actually used to have this nightmare when I was little. D: Whaaaat the fuck.
In other news...
-Lauren is exhausted to the point of delirium. Life has become like Wally-World.
-My KD obsession is growing. growing. G R O W I NG.
-My big change is starting to work! WHEE!
-WHY THE FUCK WON'T IT STOP RAINING!?
That is all.
What's the (arma)dillio?
6/18/09
I had to...
I've got the first like... minute of this as my text message ringtone, and every time I get a text I start laughing like crazy. I figured I'd share...
Show me your genitals. ;]
Show me your genitals. ;]
Live! From Seattle!
...Okay, so I'm not in Seattle. I'm definitely not in Seattle. But living on Long Island these days definitely FEELS like living in Seattle. Shit, we're getting more rain than anything. I can say now, with a straight face, that I no longer have any desire to live in Seattle, or Aberdeen, or anywhere in Washington that has this much precipitation.
A funny thing has happened though. For the first like... 2 weeks of this depressive rain cycle, I was getting like... REALLY depressed during the week. Then the rain would clear up for the weekend, and everything would be fine. But this week, the rain isn't depressing me as much. It's like I've gotten used to it or something. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not.
I just had a crazy thought though. What if this rain causes the grunge revival to happen on Long Island? Crappy emo kids would vanish, music would get infinitely better, and the Long Island music scene would have a rebirth.
That, my friends... That is the nicest thought I've had in a while.
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Now playing: Nirvana - Where Did You Sleep Last Night?
via FoxyTunes
A funny thing has happened though. For the first like... 2 weeks of this depressive rain cycle, I was getting like... REALLY depressed during the week. Then the rain would clear up for the weekend, and everything would be fine. But this week, the rain isn't depressing me as much. It's like I've gotten used to it or something. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not.
I just had a crazy thought though. What if this rain causes the grunge revival to happen on Long Island? Crappy emo kids would vanish, music would get infinitely better, and the Long Island music scene would have a rebirth.
That, my friends... That is the nicest thought I've had in a while.
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Now playing: Nirvana - Where Did You Sleep Last Night?
via FoxyTunes
6/16/09
Overcome.
Big change is coming soon. I've realized that I'm actually capable of it. So the work is gonna happen and I'll be all the better for it in the end. These next few months might just be real rough for me. Who knows. Maybe it'll be easy.
Also: Nose will be pierced by the end of June, and my 2nd tattoo is coming sometime in September. Still working out the finer details of that. I'm excited!!!!
Also: Nose will be pierced by the end of June, and my 2nd tattoo is coming sometime in September. Still working out the finer details of that. I'm excited!!!!
6/15/09
Day out, day in. It's the alarm vs. me and the snooze button wins.
I'm sick of not feeling like I'm good enough. I'm not gonna do it anymore. The people I think should be there for me and accept me as I am, end up making me feel inadequate and I'm done with it. Maybe I'm not good enough for your standards, but with that fucking attitude you definitely aren't fitting mine. I'm done.
Monday's suck. If I had my way, I'd still be sleeping right now.
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Now playing: The Matches - Papercut Skin
via FoxyTunes
Monday's suck. If I had my way, I'd still be sleeping right now.
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Now playing: The Matches - Papercut Skin
via FoxyTunes
6/13/09
Dogs were barking, and the wedding was about to start!
Quick update:
-The wedding was amazing. Everyone looked spectacular. I think I even looked decent. -GASP- (I know right?) Tricia's bridal attendant seemed okay, even though I personally didn't see very much of her. The maitre’d was a douche, and pretty much sucked at his job. But we got lots of pictures, and the weather actually cleared up so the ceremony could take place outside. The reception was great. Lots of dancing, and laughing, and drinks, and totally fun times. Trish and Ev looked SO adorable together. I actually did the Soulja Boy dance with Christopher... Hahahaa. imsowhite. But yeah. The night was good. I came home exhausted and unable to sleep because of how strong the coffee was at the reception.
-Had to wake up at the ass-crack of dawn this morning to go to Hi-Hello-Goodbye-Kitty. Mad tired. And after this, I'm headed to the Rock Lobster to work. Wooosh.
Um, yeah I have something else to say but I'm gonna keep it to myself. It's a good something. No worries. :)
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Now playing: Jeremih - Birthday Sex
via FoxyTunes
-The wedding was amazing. Everyone looked spectacular. I think I even looked decent. -GASP- (I know right?) Tricia's bridal attendant seemed okay, even though I personally didn't see very much of her. The maitre’d was a douche, and pretty much sucked at his job. But we got lots of pictures, and the weather actually cleared up so the ceremony could take place outside. The reception was great. Lots of dancing, and laughing, and drinks, and totally fun times. Trish and Ev looked SO adorable together. I actually did the Soulja Boy dance with Christopher... Hahahaa. imsowhite. But yeah. The night was good. I came home exhausted and unable to sleep because of how strong the coffee was at the reception.
-Had to wake up at the ass-crack of dawn this morning to go to Hi-Hello-Goodbye-Kitty. Mad tired. And after this, I'm headed to the Rock Lobster to work. Wooosh.
Um, yeah I have something else to say but I'm gonna keep it to myself. It's a good something. No worries. :)
----------------
Now playing: Jeremih - Birthday Sex
via FoxyTunes
6/12/09
Oh, good.
Mom always get pissed at me for no reason, and then does the annoying passive agressive thing, and pretends I doesn't exist. Makes me feel REAL good about myself, when my mom won't even look at me. Of course, I'm going to apologize first because there's no other way. She won't. I HAVE TO.
Fuck this shit.
Today's the wedding.
Fuck this shit.
Today's the wedding.
6/10/09
Did you say it?
Saw "The Hangover" tonight. That movie was funny as fuck. "Can you please put some pants on? I feel weird having to ask you twice." Bahahaha.
ALSO! Spoke to Jeremie tonight for the first time in what seems like forever. I fucking missed that kid. I need to talk to him some more...
I thought I'd have more to write, but instead I keep watching this, and crying. So here, you watch it too.
Did you say it? I love you. I don't ever want to live without you. You changed my life. Did you say it? Make a plan, set a goal, work toward it, but every now and then look around. Drink it in, cause this is it. It might all be gone tomorrow.
ALSO! Spoke to Jeremie tonight for the first time in what seems like forever. I fucking missed that kid. I need to talk to him some more...
I thought I'd have more to write, but instead I keep watching this, and crying. So here, you watch it too.
Did you say it? I love you. I don't ever want to live without you. You changed my life. Did you say it? Make a plan, set a goal, work toward it, but every now and then look around. Drink it in, cause this is it. It might all be gone tomorrow.
♥
6/8/09
Too weird to live, to rare to die.
I think I'm depressed. And by think, I mean that I'm pretty damn sure I am. And that's not good for all the obvious reasons.
Something's missing in my life. And I'm not gonna pretend like I don't know what it is, because it has become very clear to me in the past few days what my problem is. I want to be wanted. I'm yearning for attention. I've got so much love to give, and no one to give it to. And everyone I think I should give it to, ends up not wanting it, or not being worth the effort. I keep getting screwed over, which sucks on it's own, but then when that happens, I go and do dumb things, like talk to people that I know I probably should stay away from. And then, again, I end up getting hurt -- only this time it's my fault. It's a vicious circle. This may sound stupid and whiney, but I just want to be loved. (Gah, I sound like a baby.) I know my family loves me, and I know my friends love me, and I'm so thankful for that because I don't know what I'd do without those people in my life... But at the same time, I want something else.
I'm done complaining.
Life could be way worse.
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Now playing: Flyleaf - Perfect
via FoxyTunes
I'm done complaining.
Life could be way worse.
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Now playing: Flyleaf - Perfect
via FoxyTunes
6/7/09
Just another freak in the freak kingdom...
I've been reading fear and loathing in las vegas basically all day. I'm a little addicted. Not sure why I felt an update was necessary but hey!
omfg it's hot as hell.
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Now playing: Mindless Self Indulgence - Bring the Pain
via FoxyTunes
omfg it's hot as hell.
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Now playing: Mindless Self Indulgence - Bring the Pain
via FoxyTunes
my arms are killing me. i've been reduced to sitting with ice packs on them.
of course my mom asks me to go to the grocery store with her, and i decline because i feel like crap, and she acts like she's disappointed in me. this is unacceptable for two reasons. firstly, how hard is it to go to the grocery store alone? secondly, how many times has she gotten out of doing something for me because she felt like crap? ugh. her reaction at me not wanting to go on the most pointless journey ever, was annoying. ugh.
i'm done bitching. tonight's Anthony's graduation party. i'll post pictures or something later, to make this thing interesting again. hahaha, i say that as if it was interesting in the first place. WHATEVER, i'm shutting up.
of course my mom asks me to go to the grocery store with her, and i decline because i feel like crap, and she acts like she's disappointed in me. this is unacceptable for two reasons. firstly, how hard is it to go to the grocery store alone? secondly, how many times has she gotten out of doing something for me because she felt like crap? ugh. her reaction at me not wanting to go on the most pointless journey ever, was annoying. ugh.
i'm done bitching. tonight's Anthony's graduation party. i'll post pictures or something later, to make this thing interesting again. hahaha, i say that as if it was interesting in the first place. WHATEVER, i'm shutting up.
6/3/09
Simulated Insomnia... No, wait. That's not right.
That is SO not right...
Sims 3 was released yesterday, and of course the rabid Sims freak I am... I bought it immediately. It took like all day to download, basically, because I'm an idiot and refused to restart my computer before I downloaded it. So the connection was weird for the first... 9 hours of downloading. Then when I got home from work, I decided to restart and see if it fixed the download problem. Wouldn't you know, an hour later I was playing? I'm really stupid sometimes. Haha.
The game is SICK though. The create a sim is more fun, and you can create any kind of person. The sims lifetime goal is now based on the characteristics you give your sim. Everything you can click on is customizable. Clothing, surfaces, linens -- all of it can be however you want it to be. The game play is impressive too. EA wasn't lying when they said it was seamless. You can go from your house, to the theater, then down to the beach, with literally NO loading time. And you can track your sims travels through town. I haven't began really working on the careers yet, but they look promising too. I should probably just say goodbye to my life now that I've got this game. Haha.
Now a letter to my arch rival...
Dear Insomnia,
WHY NOW?! Why would you pick now, of all times, to nestle your prickley self inbetween myself and Sleep? What did Sleep ever do to you? I'm sure nothing. And I'm also certain that maybe if you were more accepting of sleep, you wouldn't have such a bitter personality. Furthermore, what did I ever do to you? As far as I know, nothing. Please, let go of this grudge and LET ME SLEEP.
Thank you.
Love,
Lauren.
Now on a more serious note: People are mad dramatic. Cut the shit and let go of it. Everyone's got a side of the story to tell. You're preaching your side to the choir, you're not really listening to the other side. So just drop it. It's probably for the best anyway.
----------------
Now playing: NeverShoutNever! - 30 Days
via FoxyTunes
Sims 3 was released yesterday, and of course the rabid Sims freak I am... I bought it immediately. It took like all day to download, basically, because I'm an idiot and refused to restart my computer before I downloaded it. So the connection was weird for the first... 9 hours of downloading. Then when I got home from work, I decided to restart and see if it fixed the download problem. Wouldn't you know, an hour later I was playing? I'm really stupid sometimes. Haha.
The game is SICK though. The create a sim is more fun, and you can create any kind of person. The sims lifetime goal is now based on the characteristics you give your sim. Everything you can click on is customizable. Clothing, surfaces, linens -- all of it can be however you want it to be. The game play is impressive too. EA wasn't lying when they said it was seamless. You can go from your house, to the theater, then down to the beach, with literally NO loading time. And you can track your sims travels through town. I haven't began really working on the careers yet, but they look promising too. I should probably just say goodbye to my life now that I've got this game. Haha.
Now a letter to my arch rival...
Dear Insomnia,
WHY NOW?! Why would you pick now, of all times, to nestle your prickley self inbetween myself and Sleep? What did Sleep ever do to you? I'm sure nothing. And I'm also certain that maybe if you were more accepting of sleep, you wouldn't have such a bitter personality. Furthermore, what did I ever do to you? As far as I know, nothing. Please, let go of this grudge and LET ME SLEEP.
Thank you.
Love,
Lauren.
Now on a more serious note: People are mad dramatic. Cut the shit and let go of it. Everyone's got a side of the story to tell. You're preaching your side to the choir, you're not really listening to the other side. So just drop it. It's probably for the best anyway.
----------------
Now playing: NeverShoutNever! - 30 Days
via FoxyTunes
6/1/09
E=MC Vagina.
Been a while!!!
Update on the past week:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvjDr8KKtsE
Update on the past week:
- Florida was absolutely amazing. Basically no drama. Insane amounts of sun and fun. I couldn't pick a better group of people to go with. It definitely made the five of us that much closer. :D
- Came home to two days of really shitty weather. I was MISERABLE. I just wanted the warmth, and sun. But nooooooo. I was all set to either jump off my roof, or buy my way back to Florida. Haha. I survived it though!
- Got my grade for American History..... IT WAS AN A!!!! I was so effing happy, I almost cried. I know, that sounds really stupid, but I almost did. I def. thought I was gonna end up getting a C or D or something. But heyy. An A works a hell of a lot better.
- Best part of this whole school thing? My GPA blasted up from a 2.94 to a 3.58. FUCK YEAH. As of right now, I could apply to Stonybrook and get in. Hells yes. :D
- Trish and Evans wedding is nearer and nearer. STILL havent seen my top for the dress. -shrug- Soon enough, I guess. I just hope the alterations are done in time.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvjDr8KKtsE
5/20/09
Who's that fuckin nekkid cook, fixin three course meals??
People amuse me with how stupid and ignorant they can be. It makes me laugh really, really hard. At the same time though, it scares me a bit. Those stupid ignorant people are allowed to reproduce. That, my friends, is a frightening thought on it's own. What's also scary is that these stupid ignorant people often find themselves in positions of power. I'm baffled as to how that happens, but you know what? It's not my job to understand the world. I'll just have solace in the fact that I choose to associate myself with intelligent people. At the very least, semi-intelligent people. Haha, I'm kidding. If I thought you were stupid, I would not talk to or hang out with you. :]
SO! Um, Florida is TOMORROW! I'm excited. Like, soooo excited. Mikey, Anthony, Kristen and I are leaving for the airport right after work tomorrow at around 6. Our flight is at 9:30ish, and we'll be in Florida by 12:30 am on Friday. Chris is coming down Friday night because he has a test on Friday. I am SO pumped. My goal in Florida is to get the closest I can to as tan as I would like to be. Not Annie-tan, but definitely "I'm not a corpse"-tan. We are going to have the BEST time ever. No drama. Just laughs and a lot of good memories.
Tricia and Evan's wedding is soon. I'm also excited for that. Yeah, I know, weird. Lauren is an alien. Excited to wear a dress? Really? (Scary how I know what you're thinking, right? Nah, it's because I was thinking it myself.) But I am so exited to wear a dress and get all pretty and celebrate the wedding. It's gonna be a good time. :)
I'm a lot more girly lately. I don't mind it either, I rather enjoy it. It's more fun than anything else. I'm also a lot more happy lately. I don't know whats causing the happiness... but I'm definitely loving it. Life seems so much more... enjoyable. I guess that's the whole point.
I'm thinking that turning 20 did some good for me. I care less about stupid things and more about things that matter. I'm also doing a lot more to make myself happy. I'm not worried about everyone else anymore. Forget that. I'll worry about those who care enough to worry about me. And we'll be so happy, we won't need to worry about eachother at all. It'll be all smiles and good times.
Anyway!!! I got my grades for four classes, I'm still waiting on my History grade... Big surprise. But I got a B+ in Sign Language and Child Development, and I got an A in both English and my Criminal Behavior classes. :D
Happy happy joy joy.
I'll write again when I get my grade for history, or when I get back from Florida.
Which ever happens first...
<3
----------------
Now playing: Ludacris - Roll Out
via FoxyTunes
SO! Um, Florida is TOMORROW! I'm excited. Like, soooo excited. Mikey, Anthony, Kristen and I are leaving for the airport right after work tomorrow at around 6. Our flight is at 9:30ish, and we'll be in Florida by 12:30 am on Friday. Chris is coming down Friday night because he has a test on Friday. I am SO pumped. My goal in Florida is to get the closest I can to as tan as I would like to be. Not Annie-tan, but definitely "I'm not a corpse"-tan. We are going to have the BEST time ever. No drama. Just laughs and a lot of good memories.
Tricia and Evan's wedding is soon. I'm also excited for that. Yeah, I know, weird. Lauren is an alien. Excited to wear a dress? Really? (Scary how I know what you're thinking, right? Nah, it's because I was thinking it myself.) But I am so exited to wear a dress and get all pretty and celebrate the wedding. It's gonna be a good time. :)
I'm a lot more girly lately. I don't mind it either, I rather enjoy it. It's more fun than anything else. I'm also a lot more happy lately. I don't know whats causing the happiness... but I'm definitely loving it. Life seems so much more... enjoyable. I guess that's the whole point.
I'm thinking that turning 20 did some good for me. I care less about stupid things and more about things that matter. I'm also doing a lot more to make myself happy. I'm not worried about everyone else anymore. Forget that. I'll worry about those who care enough to worry about me. And we'll be so happy, we won't need to worry about eachother at all. It'll be all smiles and good times.
Anyway!!! I got my grades for four classes, I'm still waiting on my History grade... Big surprise. But I got a B+ in Sign Language and Child Development, and I got an A in both English and my Criminal Behavior classes. :D
Happy happy joy joy.
I'll write again when I get my grade for history, or when I get back from Florida.
Which ever happens first...
<3
----------------
Now playing: Ludacris - Roll Out
via FoxyTunes
5/14/09
Today, I dreamt of a talking chinchilla.
In other news, I think I'm evaporating.
I want one of these.
I want one of these.
5/11/09
Everything Sucks.
It's the last week of classes and I am EXTREMELY stressed out. I feel like everything is coming at me from different directions, and I have no real way to be sure whether or not what I'm doing is right. Everything fucking sucks.
I just need this week to be over and for all the bullshit to just stop.
I just want to be happy.
This isn't working for me.
I really, really need that hug.
The Obligatory List of Bitch-and-Complain...
- I need a hug. :(
- I was sick a week ago, and yet I still have sick-symptoms. My nose periodically gets stuffed and/or drippy, and I cough like a monster. It may just be allergies, but I'm sick of being sick. And I'm sick of feeling sick.
- My Local History Report for American History is going to be the biggest piece of crap ever presented to a classroom, in the history of EVER... but at this point, I'm beyond caring. I'm surprised I actually finished everything I needed to get done.
- My ASL final is tomorrow, but I still have to show up to class on Friday. To sit there and do what? Nothing. Yes, friends... Lewis is wasting my time. Two semesters in a row. FML.
- Handing in my Othello paper tomorrow (a literary bullshit master piece) with the hopes that she'll grade it on the spot and then I'll be free from coming to class on Thursday. My luck? I'll be in class on Thursday.
- I have to do my American History Final Exam Paper on Thursday night. I don't want to do any more work for this stupid glorified historian "I'm not really a teacher" History Teaching Cuntrag.
- I have to teach myself a chunk of Child Development that I missed when I was out sick with the Swine Flu. Fuck.
- I'm majorly stressed with things outside of school. Everywhere I turn there's drama. Everyone wants something different from me.
- I haven't been sleeping well. Maybe on good night I'll get 4 hours of sleep. If I'm lucky. Which I'm usually not.
- Oh, and my body aches. Oh how it aches and aches...
I just need this week to be over and for all the bullshit to just stop.
I just want to be happy.
This isn't working for me.
I really, really need that hug.
5/10/09
STRESS. Dress. Mess. Less. MORE STRESS!
I'm just a kid with no ambitions, wouldn't come home for the world.
Sum 41 makes me happy.
I know that wanting what I want right now is stupid, and impractical. I know that wanting it may also hurt me. I'm aware that wanting what I want is a bit selfish, and that it isn't going to get me anywhere fast. I know all of this, and I don't care. I want it. I want to be happy. Is that so terrible?
Maybe for you...
Florida is in 11 days. Thank goodness. Schools done in like eight. I'll be done with basically everything by Wednesday afternoon. After that, all I have to do is show up and then take my Child Development final. I'm SO fucking stressed out. I just want it to all be over.
Right now, I should be doing MAD school work. Of course I'm just sitting here slacking. -sigh- Alright, I suck, I'm aware. I'm gonna go die under a pile of homework.
Sum 41 makes me happy.
I know that wanting what I want right now is stupid, and impractical. I know that wanting it may also hurt me. I'm aware that wanting what I want is a bit selfish, and that it isn't going to get me anywhere fast. I know all of this, and I don't care. I want it. I want to be happy. Is that so terrible?
Maybe for you...
Florida is in 11 days. Thank goodness. Schools done in like eight. I'll be done with basically everything by Wednesday afternoon. After that, all I have to do is show up and then take my Child Development final. I'm SO fucking stressed out. I just want it to all be over.
Right now, I should be doing MAD school work. Of course I'm just sitting here slacking. -sigh- Alright, I suck, I'm aware. I'm gonna go die under a pile of homework.
5/5/09
A few things.
This is adorable. I think Felicia posted this on myspace a long time ago, but I kept it because I thought it was exceptional.
This is what I feel like right now. Too much school-work to do, not enough time or desire to get it done. My life is one big ball of stress.
Isn't she cute? :)
----------------
Now playing: Lily Allen - Everyone's At It
via FoxyTunes
5/3/09
Cause I'm gonna give it to you just like you need itttt.
Just a few things:
- I hate bitches.
- I'm doing that secret self-improvement thing again. Haha. We'll see if anyone actually notices this time.
- I'm really excited for Print Making next fall. Even though I'm like... 99% sure that half way through the semester I'm gonna have my art-student freak out and be like, "WHY THE FUCK AM I DOING THIS?!"
- I'm gonna be like... ridiculouslu busy for the next week or so. I fucking hate professors who wait to assign projects until the last possible minute, so that when I should be studying for tests, I'm instead doing a fucking stupid project. [end rant.]
- Florida is so soon. I can't believe it's already here. Just... wow.
- MY BIRTHDAY IS ON THURSDAY. -cries- I don't wanna be ooooold.
5/1/09
Sick be a Lauren.... tooooooniiiiiiiight!
I'm pretty sure Karma is a huge bitch. I was making Swine (Pork) Flu jokes and then... I get sick. So here I am, at home, on a Friday morning. I should be at school right now, absorbing as much information as I possibly can, on account of the fact that schools basically over next week... but no. I'm home. Sneezing and coughing and hacking and feeling so very uncomfortable. And I'm quite certain I'll remain home all day and all night, and probably all of tomorrow, because my life is a bitch and because this is what I get for making jokes about the Swine Flu. Hours upon hours of game shows and daytime talk. This might just be the most exciting 3 days of my entire life. -le sigh- Thanks Karma, it was cool kickin it with ya. I get the point. You can stop being a bitch now.
Oh! And I'm supposed to babysit tomorrow. Make some extra money. I'll probably end up giving that job to Kristen though, because I don't want to get the kid sick. Woe is me.
Life is pretty boring. I go to school, go to work, come home, and do homework. That's pretty much all I do. I can't wait until the 18th. At 12:15pm on the 18th of May, I will probably be RUNNING from the G building of Nassau, screaming something along the lines of FUCK THIS PLACE. It'll be glorious.
OH! I turn 20 soon. (May 7th, holla.) I'm on my farewell tour of the teenage years. It's a tad bit depressing. But hey! 365 days closer to 21. I want to do something with all of my friends for my birthday, but I'm not sure what I want to do. I have serious issues making decisions...
So yeah, time for me to get back into bed and continue being sick.
Fuck my life.
Oh! And I'm supposed to babysit tomorrow. Make some extra money. I'll probably end up giving that job to Kristen though, because I don't want to get the kid sick. Woe is me.
Life is pretty boring. I go to school, go to work, come home, and do homework. That's pretty much all I do. I can't wait until the 18th. At 12:15pm on the 18th of May, I will probably be RUNNING from the G building of Nassau, screaming something along the lines of FUCK THIS PLACE. It'll be glorious.
OH! I turn 20 soon. (May 7th, holla.) I'm on my farewell tour of the teenage years. It's a tad bit depressing. But hey! 365 days closer to 21. I want to do something with all of my friends for my birthday, but I'm not sure what I want to do. I have serious issues making decisions...
So yeah, time for me to get back into bed and continue being sick.
Fuck my life.
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